Page 5 of Where Do We Go From Here?
Harry fished out a blue one and held it up between finger and thumb.
‘Oh, except for those…’ I said, with mock seriousness. ‘Blue ones have contraceptive side effects.’
‘Sounds perfect, then,’ he said, popping it into his mouth theatrically.
‘Not keen?’ I asked, leaning over and peeping out through the curtain in case Nigel had returned.
‘I’m sorry?’
‘Not keen on becoming a dad? Or maybe you already are?’
Was I flirting? Probably. But I don’t think even I had realised it, yet.
‘Oh, um, no, or rather,yes.’
‘Make up your mind!’
‘I mean, um, no, no kids yet and yes, I rather like them. When they’re not stabbing me, I do, at any rate. Hence the… um… vocation. Teacher.’
‘Right. Of course.’
‘Hopefully one’s own children are a little less…’ He flopped his bandaged hand from side to side and wrinkled his nose thoughtfully. ‘Stabby?’
‘If they are stabby then you’re probably doing something wrong,’ I said, simultaneously tuning in to a conversation I could hear taking place further down the ward. Someone was asking where the hell everyone was today and I was worrying I’d get into trouble.
‘I’m single, actually,’ Harry said, surprising me. ‘So no kids planned right now.’
‘OK,’ I said doubtfully.
‘Oh, I wasn’t, you know… hitting on you,’ Harry said.
I raised one eyebrow.
‘I’m sure people do,’ he continued. ‘I’m sure you have to put up with that all day every day.’ He grinned inanely and wobbled his head from side to side. ‘What with that home-made outfit and everything,’ he added saucily.
‘OK, now you’re scaring me,’ I told him, glancing down at my horrible uniform and trying to picture how someone might think it was sexy.
‘Right,’ Harry said. ‘Shut up, Harry! Stop being a dick.’
‘And they don’t hit on us that much, actually,’ I added, because I thought he was being a bit harsh on himself. I was rather enjoying the banter, after all. ‘My patients are generally too busy dying. I have a very low success rate.’
At that moment, Nigel dragged the curtain back and stood, hand on hip, frowning deeply at Harry. ‘Why are you still here?’ he asked. Then, turning to me, ‘Sorry I was so long, but… it’s not looking good. My mother, I mean. And whyishe still here? I’ve been gone twenty minutes.’
‘Oh, that’s my fault,’ Harry said chivalrously. ‘I’ve been pretending to feel faint so she’ll let me stay. I love it here.’
‘Do you now?’ Nigel said dryly. ‘Well, time to toddle off back to school, I’m afraid.’
‘Just didn’t want to leave without a phone number,’ Harry said. ‘You know… in case I relapse?’
Nigel began to look annoyed on my behalf so I sent him a wink and a tiny shake of the head to calm things down. ‘It’s fine, Nigel,’ I said. ‘I didn’t know if there was something – some paperwork or whatever – I have to do before I send him on his way?’
‘Oh,’ Nigel said, belatedly picking up on the cheeky vibeHarry and I had going. ‘Well, yes, there is, nurse. You must always give every patient your phone number before they?—’
He stopped mid-sentence because our scary locum, who was at that moment striding past, had spun on one foot and doubled back to peer in on our little gathering. ‘Nigel! So you are here. So good of you to show up!’
‘I…’
‘I don’t care. Come with me. Ambulances on the way. Car crash. Big one.’ He nodded at me then marched off, shouting over his shoulder, ‘And bring mini-me with you. Time for her to see some gore. Can’t spend the whole day hiding.’
