Page 116 of Where Do We Go From Here?
‘Yes, OK, and I am being honest.’
‘Sorry, that’s not what I meant. This is coming out all wrong.’
‘It’s fine. It’s all fine, Haz. Please relax a bit. You’re stressing me out, too.’
‘Right. I will. This is me relaxing. So do we – I mean… Are you going to stay stone-cold sober from now on?’
‘I am. For now. I’m going to try to stay stone-cold sober.’
‘So should we… you know… get rid of the bottles in the house? Or are you fine about… all that?’
Wendy looks at Harry and then lets her focus relax and stares through him. She’s once again picturing the contents of the drinks cabinet behind him – the whisky, the Baileys, the Martini – and salivating at the thought of it all. ‘No, I’m fine about it,’ she hears herself say. More consciously, she adds, ‘Actually, that’s not true. Yes, getting rid might be a good idea. If you don’t mind. Just for a bit.’
‘No, no, that’s fine,’ Harry says. ‘I thought I should do it before you came home, and then I hesitated because I didn’t want to offend you.’
‘Well, that’s sweet. Thanks for being so sensitive about it.’
‘I try,’ Harry says. He takes a sip of his tea and then puts themug back down and runs his finger around the rim. ‘Is it hard for you? The not drinking thing?’
‘A bit.’
‘Right.’
‘Truth is, Harry, I think about drink a hundred times a day. But I think I nipped it in the bud early enough. Only just, apparently, but all the same. It could have been much worse. I’ve been reading about withdrawal symptoms and some people have it really bad. And that didn’t happen to me, thankfully. I had flu symptoms for a bit and a headache and nightmares. And my sleep was terrible for a few days. But that’s about it, really. Some people end up in A&E. I assume those are people who are dosing constantly all day every day. Which I wasn’t. Quite.’
‘It still doesn’t sound like fun. If you’re thinking about it all the time…’
‘No, it isn’t fun. It’s miserable. But like I say, it’s getting easier.’
‘Well, good. That sounds good.’
‘But I’m not pretending that I’m out of the woods, Haz. I mean, just you mentioning the Martini in the drinks cabinet?—’
‘I don’t think I specifically mentioned Martini. I’m not even sure we have any.’
‘No, but there you go. I’m picturing it, the Martini. And salivating.’
‘So maybe I should get to it.’
‘Or maybe later? When I’m in the other room?’
‘Sure. Whatever you need.’
‘I made an appointment to see someone, by the way. It’s next Monday.’
‘That’s quick. You must have connections. A woman at work has been waitin?—’
‘It’s private. I’m going private. Which rankles, obviously, but there you go. I think I need it. And apparently she’s very good.’
‘Says…?’
‘Says?’
‘Sorry, I mean, says who? Who says she’s good?’
‘Oh, Giles gave me her name. You know Giles, the surgeon? He says she’s the best he knows around here. She’s very cutting edge apparently. Well, in terms of addiction. And trauma. So…’
‘Sounds good.’
