Page 123 of Where Do We Go From Here?
W: You don’t?
K: No. Alcohol is a drug. It’s a legal drug, but a drug nonetheless. Society, our society – most societies in fact, but not all societies – use it for many reasons. We self-medicate with alcohol. We use it as an anti-anxiety drug, for example or as a social lubricant, because we humans can be so awkward around each other. And sometimes it’s used in larger quantities as an anaesthetic for physical or emotional pain. In ancient times they amputated limbs using alcohol as an anaesthetic, so it’s a very powerful drug. And like any drug it can be used, or it can be misused.
W: Right. but that still doesn’t?—
K: I’d say that if your use of it is having negative consequences in your life, or on your relationships, or on your health, or on your wealth, then that’s a problem. So I’d say that at this stage – at your stage – asking whether it’s a problem in your life is perhaps more important than the definition of the word ‘alcoholic’. Do you think your drinking has become a problem?
W: Yes, I think it has. People have told me it has. Family members. Friends. They say it’s been affecting my relationships. And I think that’s probably true. Actually, it’s definitely true.
K: Right. Well, it’s good that you’ve identified that. What I can tell you is that if you’ve been drinking two bottlesa day then it will certainly have started to affect your health, even if you haven’t noticed it yet. That level of consumption will end up damaging your liver and your kidneys, for starters. It would have effects that would show up in blood tests, for almost all your vital functions. So health-wise, it’s definitely too much, and it’s definitely a problem.
W: So it’s a good job I stopped.
K: Yes, it’s a good job you stopped.
W: …
K: …
W: I’m not sure what to say now.
K: That’s OK. We can sit and digest for a bit until something comes along.
W: It’s a bit expensive to just sit here, really, isn’t it? It’s like a waste. Two quid a minute.
K: Is that a worry for you? The cost?
W: Not this once. But if it needed to be regular…
K: …
W: Do you think it will need to be regular?
K: I really couldn’t say at this point.
W: What do you think he’d say? My brother? If I asked him. I was wondering about that.
K: Sorry, if you asked him what?
W: Why he left me alone to deal with Mum when she was dying.
K: I don’t know. What do you think he’d say?
W: I really have no idea. That’s why I was asking what sort of things people say.
K: People often do have their reasons. But they aren’t always able to express them. And sometimes those reasons are subconscious, so they don’t even know them themselves. But nothing comes from a vacuum. There will always be reasons for everything.
W: When you say, subconscious… Do you mean that people can be subconsciously selfish? Like, they’re selfish but it’s not their fault?
K: Well, selfish is a slightly judgemental word, so it’s perhaps not helpful. There are no universal standards for defining selfishness, after all.
W: I’d say that not helping your sister with your dying mother would probably fit the bill, though, don’t you? As a standard measure of selfishness.
K: Maybe so. I just mean that as for the word ‘alcoholic’ there’s no standard definition. And of course you have to consider people’s circumstances. Their capacity to help. Their capacity for generosity. There will often be a reason why people become relatively ‘selfish’ as you say. A past trauma or a childhood experience that limits their ability to be generous, for example. We often become who we are because of things that happen to us.
W: Right. Only we had the same childhood, my brother and me. We grew up together. So I don’t think that really gets him off the hook.
K: Yes, but you weren’t constantly together. You have had different life experiences.
