Page 49 of Where Do We Go From Here?
H: See! I told you. More rubbish direct from China.
W: Personally I blame the parents.
H: Ha! Yes! Good one. Look, I’ll talk to her about it. I’ll tell her again. I’ll tie her to a chair and make her watch a documentary about Chinese slave labour if you want.
W: I wasn’t saying I blame you, Harry. It was just a throwaway line.
H: Sure. It always is. Anyway, gotta go. You know how it is. Papers to mark.
W: I do. And I really was trying to be funny, Haz. Plus I said parents plural. So I was including myself in that.
H: Hey, relax. It’s fine. But I really do have to go.
W: OK, well, you have a good one, OK?
H: I expect yours will be wa-a-ay better than mine to be honest. But anyway… talk soon. Love ya, miss ya, merely getting by without ya!Ciao ciao.
She stares at the phone in her hands and notes the way it’s trembling, then places it on the coffee table. Is she shaking because she still loves him or because she hates him? Is she shaking because the call was too much for her or too little? Is it possible that she’s shaking because all of these things are simultaneously true yet entirely contradictory?
She checks her watch. It’s only eleven and she could do with a drink. Eleven is a bit early but after all, it’s midday in England, isn’t it? No, it’s the other way around. It’s ten in England and ten is definitely too early. But shecould have an early lunch, she supposes. That would make it OK, wouldn’t it?
She heats up the last of the soup, makes a terrible toasted cheese sandwich with the last of the bread and the waxy rind of the cheese and pours herself a vat of red wine to compensate.
Everything is awful. She’s been avoiding acknowledging the fact but there it is. Everything truly is awful.
She finishes her lunch and empties the remainder of the bottle into her glass telling herself it’s Dutch courage for today’s battle with the car hire company and that as soon as her glass is empty she’ll place the call.
When she does, miracle of miracles, she’s connected straight to Letitia, whose English is nigh-on perfect.
So she re-tells Letitia her story. She has had to do this every time, but at least she’s getting better at it. Her tale is becoming more succinct but also increasingly dramatic.
‘Now I’m stuck in the middle of nowhere with no food and no way to get to a supermarket,’ she says, summing up. ‘So, I really need this to be sorted out today otherwise I’m literally going to starve to death.’
‘Yes… hang on… I’ve just got access to your file. Sorry the system is so slow today. Computers! You are calling yesterday, I see. And the day before?’
‘Well, yes. I’m calling every day. I need my car back!’
‘I wasn’t…’ Letitia says. ‘I was checking I have the right file. And I’m sure we are doing everything we can to get this car back to you, but after an accident there are procedures which must be followed.’
‘Well, maybe you could follow your procedures more quickly.’
‘You wouldn’t want me to give you back a dangerous car, would you?’
‘No. I want you to give me a drivable car. With you being a car hire company, that surely can’t be beyond the realms of possibility, can it?’
‘I see you were simply crashing the car.’
‘It slid off the road. It’s called an accident.’
‘Yes. An accident while you were driving.’
‘And?’
‘I’m sorry?’
‘I don’t see what you’re trying to imply?’
‘I am not trying to imply anything.’
