Page 65 of Where Do We Go From Here?
OMG, Mittens is back! I wonder if he will ever deign to come inside?
Day Four
Inches of snow: Compacted down to about 18.
Food remaining: Plenty.
Electricity: Intermittent.
Bottles of wine remaining: 1.
Cat sightings: 3.
Despite falling over, I’ve been for another walk. I feel soclaustrophobic stuck in this tiny place, it didn’t even seem like a choice.
I tried to do some sort of yoga-ish exercises first in the hope that would help, but the truth is I couldn’t even remember how they go. My last yoga lesson was at least ten years ago, and I only went about three times then.
So, my walk: the snow’s really deep, but has also melted a bit and then refrozen overnight which has given it a strange crispy topping. It’s like walking through a massive crème brûlée. The result is that you have to do a ridiculous John Cleese goose step and then try to smash your heel back down through the crunchy topping. It must look very, very peculiar. Thank God no one was there to see me.
Again, I didn’t get far, but even my short ten-minute military march felt better than staying indoors. I do wonder whether it’s possible to actually die from being stuck in a tiny space. Again, a sad thought for all the animals in zoos.
Once I got back I put more food out for Mittens, and then left the door ajar and after only about twenty minutes, he (it’s definitely a ‘he’) appeared. He stuck his head through the door and gave me a long hard stare before gobbling down his food. Definitely making progress there. I think we’ll be friends soon.
And now, Dear Journal, we need to talk about something serious. Because I’ve realised that I’ve been lying to you. Lying to my own journal. How silly is that?
So the truth is that on Day One I didn’t have seven bottles of wine remaining, I had seven and three quarters. And today I don’t really have one full bottle left, but merely a half. Which means that I truly have been drinking more than two bottles a day. That’s probably too much, isn’t it? And it obviously leaves me feeling a bit icky about that weird conversation with Manon.
In my defence, I was wildly bored last night because not only did the electricity go off, taking the internet with it, but my Kindle ran out of juice again, and with no electricity I couldn’trecharge it. With nothing left to do but drink, smoke and watch the flames, I authorised myself that extra half bottle which pushed me over the edge into a positively tipsy state I would have to admit I rather enjoyed.
I’m going to have to be good tonight, though, as I only have half a bottle left. Only half a bar of chocolate, too. Things are getting desperate. Dear Sean Penn, if you’re reading this then send a search team! And please include a St Bernard (with whisky).
Day Five
Inches ofsnowice: 6.
Food remaining: Random leftovers.
Electricity: Mostly off.
Bottles of wine remaining: ZERO!
Cat sightings: 0.
What a thoroughly miserable day. It’s stopped snowing but it’s grey, grey, grey. In fact, it’s like nighttime, which, as the electricity is now off, makes indoors as miserable as outside. There’s also a hateful, icy wind out there.
Still, look on the bright side. The forecast for tomorrow is sunshine. Just imagine if I’d chosen Norway! It would have been night-time nearly all the time. I hadn’t even thought about that…
So yeah, the electricity is mostly off now. It came on for an hour, just long enough to charge my phone and laptop and then went off again. Lucky I don’t have a freezer, I suppose. I sent a message to the owner using one of my precious Tesco mobile megabytes, and she replied that everybody’s electricity is off. Apparently the snow has pulled down the wires orsomething. She didn’t offer any solutions to my problems, though. I think the fact that I’m in the same boat as everyone else made her feel she doesn’t need to bother. I’m praying that tomorrow’s sunshine is strong enough to reach through the snow to my solar panels!
But the truth is that I don’t care as much as I should. I think I’m coming down with the flu and I’m also feeling quite depressed. I’m eating weird combinations of food (instant noodles with cheese this lunchtime, for example) and mainly just dozing in front of the fire. I hate it here. I hate my life. And I’m pretty sure I hate me.
Update: Still no sighting of Mittens today. I wonder where he is, poor thing. And I’m definitely coming down with the flu. I’m shaky, and I feel sick. The only tiny bit of good news on this horrid day is that I found an inch of gin which I’m swigging right now with orange juice. It definitely seems to be helping.
Day Six
Inches of ice: 4.
Food remaining: Not much.
