Page 30 of Longing for the Minotaur
His brows crease. “What do you mean?”
“Are we going to…” I swallow, because I hadn’t intended to bring up this subject—but it’s been in the back of my mind since break started. “Are we going to tell them?”
Banon frowns. “Of course not.”
He says it so quickly, so confidently, that I’m stalled out. It’s not even a question in his mind.
“Oh.” I try not to let it show that this hurts. I thought it would bother him, keeping this a secret, like it bothers me.
“Imagine what they would do. What they wouldsay.” He takes both my hands in his, leaning back to really look me in the eyes. “They might disown us, never speak to us again. I couldn’t lose my mom like that.”
“Dad wouldn’t.” I don’t think he would, at least. I’ve made mistakes in my life, and he always forgave me. He was fine when he learned I was bisexual, and even encouraged me when I brought a girl home for spring break. He’s open-minded and he loves me. “Though he might stop paying for my school.”
“Mom might not be so easy. I don’t know. I don’twantto know. I can’t stand the idea of what it would do to them if we came clean.” He runs a hand through his hair, sitting upright in bed. “Why? Are you thinking of telling them?”
I shake my head as I sit up, too. “Not without you. I would never.”
He lets out aphew. “Good.”
So he’s fine with it. He’s fine with this being our secret forever. We’ll have to live our entire lives under the radar, hoping no one catches on.
I swallow, trying not to get emotional at the idea of existing this way until we’re old and our family dies. We just had mind-blowing sex, and I know my brain is going wild with chemicals. Instead, I feign a smile.
“Well, I should get back to my room now.”
Banon’s brows rise. I’m trying to keep myself from crying, so I silently get up and make my way over to the door.
“I’m sorry, Valentina.” Banon’s voice stops me. “I would understand if you don’t want this. If you don’t want me. Because I know it kills you, keeping a secret. And it kills me, too.”
I don’t answer because I can’t. Tears pool in my eyes as I head into the bathroom, then I close the door of my own bedroom behind me. After staring around at all the posters on my wall, I fall onto the bed.
I should never have done this, because now that I have Banon, I can’t possibly let him go.
CHAPTER
TWELVE
BANON
You love your stepsister, you fucking idiot.
I stare in the mirror the next morning, looking bedraggled. I slept like shit without Val at my side. She was supposed to be there with me, but she wasn’t. She never will be, not unless I get my own place—which I can’t afford.
I’ve already been here once, trying to find the right way out that doesn’t involve giving her up. I would never,couldnever.
I’m so obsessed with my thoughts that as the others wake up on Christmas morning, I’ve completely forgotten what I put under the tree. Instead, I pretend to be lively and cheery, as one should be. I help make breakfast and say a bright “Good morning” when Val emerges from her room.
She sighs and says, “Hey,” before seating herself at the table. She avoids looking at me.
Damn. It’s another week until she goes back to school, and then we can really sit down and talk. There must be some kind of road forward out of this where I don’t have to hurt her or risk the destruction of my relationship with Mom.
What would she think if she knew? Val is so much younger than I am, even though she acts older. Mom would be disgusted.
I wrinkle my nose like I tasted something bad, and Fred asks if there’s shell in the eggs.
Then it’s time for presents. To this day, even though we aren’t kids anymore, Mom and Fred still like to fill up the space under the tree with gifts. It’s mostly silly stuff like socks and underwear, but there are thoughtful, joyful gifts, too. Mom and Fred got me a balance board for working out at home while I’m watching television, claiming it’ll give me “killer thighs.” Valentina smiles and opens her mouth to crack a joke, then stops herself and turns her head away, her lips twisting.
I wonder what she was going to say.
