Page 12 of Christmas on Ice
It was none of my business, but there was pain in her eyes, and I ached to soothe it. I wanted to know what she’d gone through and make sure it never happened again. “You don’t have to tell me, but … did he … break his vows?” Her eyes met mine, and she didn’t have to answer. “I’m so sorry.”
“Not as sorry as I am. It was after Ryleigh was born, and I felt trapped. He promised it was a one-time thing, but it wasn’t. Later I found out he’d had several affairs.”
“That’s horrible.” I had no respect for cheaters.
“I always thought I was special. Worthy of selfless, unconditional love. I gave it, but I never received it. It was a hard lesson to learn. But I’m okay now. I’ve let go of impossible expectations, and if nobody comes around that loves the way I want to be loved, I’ll stay single.”
“You deserved to be loved, Kami. Cherished. He’s a fool for letting you go.” I wanted to take her in my arms and reassure her that she’d find the kind of love she wanted.
She shrugged and gave me a shy glance. It was adorable and tugged at my heartstrings the same way a sleeping Ryleigh did. “He wasn’t the guy for me. That’s all.”
Her resilience and the ability to articulate that kind of wisdom seemed beyond her years. “Tell me about the guy for you.” I swallowed, surprised at my forwardness. I’d try to lighten it up. “I’ve got a lot of great friends here. Maybe one of them is the guy for you.”
Or maybe I was. Why not me? Though I felt the beginning of a spark between us, and I knew she felt it, too. But would she acknowledge it? And I was genuinely curious what she would say, and what she was looking for in a partner.
Slow down. Remember you swore off relationships.A broken heart stung, and I hadn’t trusted myself to dive into the dating pool. After being used twice, I didn’t want to put myself in the position of being made a fool of a third time. But Kami seemed different. She didn’t take love lightly, and even with a cheating ex, she’d been faithful. There was no reason to think she’d burn me—except if she had a problem with distance. She’d mentioned going back to South Carolina, and unless I was sure it was absolutely going to work and we cared about each other equally, I wouldn’t take a shot at getting burned again.
She laughed, a light tinkling sound I wasn’t expecting. Staring at the picture still in her hands, she began to speak. “The guy for me would be my partner in every way. And I don’t mean fifty-fifty. I mean one hundred percent combined, all the time. If I could only give twenty percent, he’d make up for it with eighty percent and vice versa. He’d be the very definition of kindness, never condescending, never patronizing or gaslighting. He wouldn’t feel intimidated by my successes, and he’d support what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be. He’d… He’d …” She paused and gave me a nervous smile. “Are you sure you want to hear all of this? Because I’ve got it all worked out in my head.”
“I’m positive. Keep going.” I didn’t just want to hear this, I needed to know what she wanted in a partner. I needed to know if I was someone who could match her expectations.
“Okay, you asked for it.” She took a deep breath and continued. “He’d make enough money or budget strategically so I could take time off to be with babies their first year. Or longer, if that’s what the baby needed. I wouldn’t have to work or worry who was going to watch my preschooler.
“He’d trust me, and I’d trust him. Completely. If he had to travel for work, I wouldn’t have to worry that he’d be unfaithful, and he’d call me every day he was away, even if it was just to say I love you. He’d love Ryleigh like she was his own and spoil her rotten but also guide her firmly and help me instill a work ethic so she didn’t grow up feeling entitled. He’d want to give her siblings.”
“There’s no doubt in my mind Ryleigh would be a doting big sister.”
She looked up at me and smiled. “She would. The guy for me would be tall or wouldn’t mind if I wore heels and made him look short. He’d never complain when I blasted or sang songs he didn’t like, andhe’dcome tometo propose watching chick flicks and romantic comedies. He’d make the popcorn and cue up the movie.” As she spoke, a blush rose from her neck to the apples of her cheeks. “And the guy for me would fight for love and our life together and never give up.”
Long before she finished, I knew, without doubt, I wanted to be that guy.
“He’s out there, Kami. Maybe hiding in plain sight.”
She shook her head. “I don’t even know if a guy like that exists. But I’d rather be alone than settle again.”
“I’m with you on that.” I didn’t want to answer any questions, so I changed the subject. “Can I get you anything?”
“Nah. I’m going to go lie down now. I’m starting to feel sore all over.”
“Okay. If you need anything—”
She patted my arm. “Thanks.”
I settled back onto the couch and pulled out my phone to read. A little cuckoo clock near the kitchen chimed to mark the passing of time. Just after one o’clock, I began to nod off. Through the uncovered window behind Kami’s bed, the falling white flakes glittered in the glow of an outside light.
Brenna hadn’t texted me yet, so I sent her a message.Everything okay at the restaurant?
A few minutes later, her reply had me sitting up straight.No. We lost power. I shooed all the customers out but I’m going to be a while.
Are you by yourself?
Three bouncing dots appeared and then disappeared.
???I texted back.
Brendan is here. He wouldn’t leave.
Good man.Trotter had plenty of faults, but he’d seemed different lately, more serious and mature. Better on the ice, and off.
