Page 39 of Thor
Inside was exactly what I’d expected, though. Dark and damp, with the reverberating noises of water splashing against the outside. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the dimness, and when they did, Thor was at my side with his Zippo alight. The friendly orange flame guttered slightly and cast strange shadows.
“Thisis where people make out?” I grumbled, glancing around at the… blandness of it. I enjoyed a good sex adventure out in nature as much as the next guy, but there was nothing sexy about this cave.
“There aren’t many places around here to do it,” Thor said with a laugh. “And when you live in a small town, you want to find somewhere no one will see you, so they can’t gossip.”
I crossed my arms, partly because I was still cold, but also because I was highly unimpressed by theKissing Cave.
Thor shook his head and waved me over to one of the walls.
Frowning, I carefully stepped toward him, hoping I didn’t stand on anything sharp. The cave floor wasn’t entirely uncomfortable to walk on, but the rock beneath our feet wasn’t soft, either. When I reached him, he curled an arm around my waist and pointed to a bunch of names. There were lists upon lists of people scraped out across the wall of the cave, clumped in small groups with a lot of them having two names together.
“Let me guess, the people who came in here to fuck?”
He grinned and ran his fingers over a group of six names, and I stepped closer to read them.
Daniel Harmon.
Morgan Glass.
Cameron Kerr.
Dana Goodwin.
Andy Marsh.
Tobias Langley.
“They’re your friends,” I whispered.
His mood slipped away, not turning completely to anguish but still more painful than it’d been moments ago. He nodded. “There were six of us, and we were best friends. We did everything together.” He traced Andy’s name. “Dana and I thought the guys would hate us when we started dating, but they thought it was cool. So when Dana and I came here to make out, they always tagged along and just… sat and talked as though we weren’t sucking each other’s faces off.”
Envy was like a cord wrapping itself around my neck, choking me. It was stupid to be jealous about his past, about his friends, but I couldn’t help it. This entire thing was a reminder that I didn’t know him as well as I wanted.
“I realized after a while I wasn’t interested in Dana as much as I should’ve been. I preferred… men. I started becoming more interested in Jalen and my friend, Andy. Dana knew, I think. We never really broke up, but I noticed her flirting with other guys, like Cameron. I should have been more upset by it, but I wasn’t. It kind of confirmed what I already suspected.”
I listened, my heart thumping roughly in my chest. My hand went to his shoulder, and he clamped his over mine, as if taking support from me.
He stared intently at those names carved into the wall. “The night the accident happened, we went to a party. We’d always had plans on getting a ride home with a friend’s mom. Leaving the car at Jonathan Stafford’s house. He’d already said that was cool. We drank, we danced, we had a good time.” He gritted his teeth and a tic began in his jaw. “Andy kissed me that night. Right on the lips, and when he was done, he smiled at me. I thought it was a new beginning. I’d tell Dana we were finally over and then I’d date Andy. I was on a fucking emotional high that night, Loki. It’s what fucked everything up.”
“What happened?” I whispered, barely able to hear my voice as waves crashed against the cave at the front.
Whether he heard me or not, he continued. “When it was time to go, I went to find a ride but… Danny—Daniel—suggested I drive home. I told him I’d had too much to drink, but he didn’t want to wait for a ride and told me we’d be fine. I listened to him. I fucking shouldn’t have, but I did. We got into that damn car, too many of them squashed into the back, and I drove. Andy was in the front passenger seat. I couldn’t stoplookingat him. Took a corner too sharply and the car rolled down a hill.” His jaw tightened and his fingers curled into fists against the cave wall beside their names. “I barely remember it. I just get flashes. I know I crawled out of that car, went looking for Andy because IthoughtI saw his body get thrown out of the windshield. The idiot didn’t have a seat belt on.”
He slammed his fist against the wall, his knuckles cracking under the hit. Blood oozed down the rock when he pulled it back, and I grabbed his wrist. He hissed as I stopped his attempt at another, obviously purposeful move to reopen the wounds from when he’d hurt himself at the restaurant. “What are you doing?”
“I fucked up, Loki.” He tried to escape my touch, but I wouldn’t let him. I held on tightly so he couldn’t retreat. “I’ll never forget how broken he was, staring at me lifelessly. I did that. I fucking did that.”
His pain seeped into me like I was sucking it out of him, and I rushed him, grasping the back of his neck. He struggled but eventually let me yank him into a rough kiss. His mouth demolished mine, and a war followed between him pulling away and me holding on. Eventually he relaxed against my lips, and when I was happy he’d settled down, I broke away from him.
“You didn’t do this, Thor. It was an accident.”
“I was drunk.” He shook his head, baring his teeth at the wall where he’d left behind a trail of blood. His knuckles were broken open and bleeding, and he hissed when I grazed my thumb over them. “I got drunk, then drove. That’s not an accident. That’s murder. I went to prison for six months for it. Manslaughter, underage drinking, and drunk driving. I should have got more time.”
“You were a teenager. We all fuck up when we’re that age.”
“Maybe.” He turned his head away, but I grabbed his chin and dragged it back to face me. “But not everyone kills a person they loved.”
“What do you want from me, Tobias? You want me to hate you?” I whispered angrily. “No, that’s not going to fucking happen. I’m not going to run in the opposite direction. I’m not perfect. None of us are. And we’re Norse Lords. It’s a requirement to have a fucked up past. How else can we do what we do? We live and breathe life and death. We walk the line every single day. So no, I’m not going to feel sorry for you, and I’m not going to let you hate yourself for what you did when you were seventeen.”
