Page 80 of Bound to Him
Wasted time is never recovered.
Time is money.
But the longer I stared at the phone, buzzing angrier than a bee, the more tired I became, and the more certain of one ugly truth.
I didn’t want to be divorced.
I’d fucked up big-time.
20
NOAH
I’d hearda lot about heartbreak from a few different people, but I never imagined it would be this painful. It felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest, thrown on a road, and run over by a semitruck a hundred times. I was hurting and there was nothing I could do to mend the pain. I’d packed up my stuff and left, like Alton wanted, but the small, spiteful part of me left the painting I’d done for him there, right in the middle of the living room so he could see it. I didn’t care if he dumped the canvas, as long as he saw it one more time.
Now I didn’t know what to do with myself. It was already June. School started again in September. The months had slipped by with me only keeping in contact with Antoine and Tucker. Both men had become good friends, and I’d kept tabs on Alton through Antoine. Even if he’d broken my heart, I cared and worried for him. Antoine kept me up to date in his usual blunt manner, informing me how Alton worked long hours in the office, and how the only thing he did when he got home was either work more or sleep. Part of me wanted him to miss me, to come find me and beg me to come home, but I knew that wasn’t happening.
Alton had made his decision.
Our divorce hadn’t taken long to get to the media, and Dad was happy to spout how he’d always known Alton wasn’t a suitable fit for his son, even though it’d beenhimwho sold me off like a whore. Journalists ate it up, and even though the press talked negatively about Alton, he never once came out to say a bad thing about me.
That’s about when Mama—Mrs. Bouchard—started calling more. I didn’t answer, too afraid of what she would ask me. I could already imagine. Sometime last month I’d finally lost my stubbornness and answered a call one night.
“Hello?” I rested my head on the pillow and stared upward. I was back in my small apartment with nothing but my own thoughts to entertain me. The ceiling I’d striped purple-and-white in a fit of whimsy wasn’t nice anymore. I preferred Alton’s home, with the bold solid colors and workers who kept me company when Alton was busy. I rubbed my chest where it ached.
“Noah. Finally.” She huffed through the line. “Why haven’t you been answering me, boy? I’ve been worried sick.”
I winced at the concern in her tone. “Sorry, Mrs. Bouchard.”
“Mama. I’m Mama.”
“With all due respect, you’re not anymore.” Nausea churned in my stomach and I forced myself to sit up, hoping to soothe the upset rushing through me. I sat cross-legged on the bed. “How can I help you?”
“What do you mean, ‘how can I help you’? Tell me what happened.” She sounded distressed, and that only caused further anguish in me. “One minute you’re happy, and then I find out from a magazine that y’all divorced. Sure, y’all had a fight, but all married couples have fights, Noah. All of them do. Alton won’t talk to me neither. He only tells me everything’s fine and says he’s busy and hangs up on me. I won’t have it! I’m ready to get on a plane and come whoop both y’all’s asses, you hear me?”
I pressed my mouth together to hold in a laugh. This wasn’t funny, but she was the same as ever, and I craved a mother like her more than anything. I had her, she was Mama to me, too, but then things got out of hand. I’d lost control of the situation. Why did I have to say what I had? Because I had respect for myself. I wasn’t going to stick in a marriage when Alton clearly didn’t want me as much as I wanted him.
“I lied to you,” I whispered.
She let out a breath. “What do you mean?”
My grip on the phone tightened and I stared up at the wall where I’d hung a picture of me and Athena making peace signs. We’d been so happy back then—and innocent. “My marriage to Alton was fake. We married because he wanted my dad to pay back a debt owed. I was the collateral. Part of the contract. We were only going to be married for six months. It’s over now and I’m free again.” The words tasted bitter on my tongue.
She gasped—I thought I heard a slap of skin and I guessed she probably popped her hand over her mouth. “Alton would never!”
Guilt mixed in with all the other emotions and clogged my throat. I shouldn’t have said anything. I should never have answered the phone. I chomped down on my bottom lip and stared at the photo of Athena and me. Where had the happy times gone?
“Oh, darlin’.” There was a sob on the other end of the line. “Y’all should’ve told me.”
“I should go.” I hung up. I was a coward, I could admit it. There was nothing else I could say to her, and I didn’t want her to hear how upset I was.
Now summer was in full force, and I still felt lost. Tucker had agreed to meet up with me at an animal shelter because I’d made up my mind that what I needed was a dog. Company. Tucker thought it was a fantastic idea, and when he arrived, he was grinning like a fool.
“I love dogs!” He bounced on his feet and tugged me under his arm as he stared up at the one-story building in front of us. His curls glinted in the sunlight and he flashed me a friendly grin.
I wasn’t quite sure I could get used to seeing him away from the kitchen, but his friendship was irreplaceable. He was my firstrealfriend, and when I’d told him the truth about Alton he’d been angry, then sorry. Now he spent whatever free time he had with me. We’d been to the lake on numerous occasions, and one weekend we’d gone for a drive to New York City.
“What kind of dog are you getting?”
