Page 29 of Bound to Him
He shook his head and wouldn’t look at me when I leaned down and tried to catch his eye. I brushed back the curls on his forehead.
“I’m a virgin, okay? I wasn’t going to say anything because I understand what that sounds like. My plans don’t matter anymore, so it didn’t matter, but I didn’t expect this,” he said, shivering all over like a dog that had come in out of the rain. “I... the shower was good last night. I wanted you then. This wasn’t good.”
Stunned, I sat there and held him. He couldn’t have fucking said anything I’d expected less if he’d have told me he was an alien from Neptune. For once in my life I had no idea what to say. I kissed his temple and turned until I could lean my head back against the seat and stare at the ceiling. I didn’t let him go, and he didn’t fight to get free.
“Why didn’t you tell me to stop?” I’d always sort of planned on giving him a safeword. I closed my eyes. “Fuck.”
“I said wait.”
“Not the same.”
He stiffened in my arms, which was a feat because he’d already been impersonating a piece of wood.
“What about Christian? Weren’t you dating?”
“No,” he said through gritted teeth and buried his face in his hands. “You wouldn’t understand. He didn’t.”
“Do not compare me to that self-entitled little shit.”
“Oh yeah, you’re nothing like him,” he said, sarcastic as anything.
And damned if I had a comeback. I moved him off my lap and got up to tap the divider. The driver put it down only enough so he could hear instructions because apparently he was a smarter man than I was right now.
“Take us to the reception.”
“Yes, sir.”
Noah sat on the floor, staring at me like I was a monster, and he wasn’t wrong, but I was all in now. Tomorrow this would seem like the grand fucking idea it had yesterday and I’d be happy I’d stayed the course. There was a reason I made plans and stuck with them. A good blueprint for a situation kept emotions from fucking it all up.
“Get up here and sit on my lap. Kiss me. Convince me to take it nice and slow with you later.”
He glared daggers like he would poison my drink for our toast but crawled up to sprawl across my lap. He pressed his salty lips to mine. I promised myself the next time he tasted this way, it would be because he’d come so many times it hurt to do it again. I was a fuck, but I didn’t want sad tears from him. Anything else was fine. I’d found the line in the sand I wouldn’t cross, and I was worrying myself because I hadn’t thought there would be one.
“When we arrive you will smile and behave yourself. No more tears.”
“Yes,husband,” he murmured and teased his lips against mine. I had a feeling it might take the entire six months for me to get enough of him calling me that. I wanted to laugh about the situation, but I couldn’t be myself with him. He wouldn’t respect me if he saw me acting like a goofball. I fell into the softness of his mouth rather than trying to poke at why I was starting to feel bad about all this. The stupid feelings had to be a fluke brought on by all the over-the-top sentimentality of weddings.
Tomorrow I’d be back to my old self.
9
NOAH
My parents were toobusy entertaining their guests to notice the sad look I was giving them. They never cared about me in the first place, so why would they now? It’d always been about appearances with them, and Dad liked to make people laugh. He was charming, with real charisma I never had. I was the inept son, the one who wanted to be an artist. The fact I was in school for art was enough to make him hate me, but he’d made it clear I should enjoy my freedom now because when it came time, he would drag me into the business and teach me the ropes. Maybe now that I was married to Alton, Dad wouldn’t have to carry out his threats. Alton wanted the business; it was the only reason he’d married me.
When I’d imagined my wedding day, I’d seen myself happy and in love andsoready for my husband to take my virginity. Instead, fear sat in the pit of my stomach like a twenty-ton crane from my dad’s construction business. I supposed it was an appropriate comparison since I was nothing but another piece of property in my dad’s eyes. If he’d ever considered how much easier it would be to simply sell me off, his dreams must’ve just come true.
The reception venue was a beautiful ballroom in a historic lakeside mansion with classy wooden floorboards and blue walls that reminded me of the water lapping against the shore outside. Low music filled the air from the band set up on the far end of the room, while people clumped together to talk loudly with a drink in hand. The bar was across from the band and the staff were running off their feet with the guests who kept going back for more. Blue silk streamers hung on the walls along with a banner that said “Mr. and Mr. Bouchard” behind the long table where we’d already eaten.
Every step of this process took forever, and night had already begun so there wasn’t much to see outside the windows. Earlier, when the afternoon sun had been a vibrant burnt orange, the lake had sparkled like diamonds, and I couldn’t tear my eyes away from it. Now, there was nothing but darkness, a forecast for the next six months of my life.
“Smile, Noah. You look like you’re about to head to your execution.” Athena slid up toward me, the pretty silver dress she wore fluttering around her knees and sparkling under the lights. The color suited her complexion and the dress melded with the curves of her body. She’d always been able to pull off anything she wore, and I was jealous of that ability. She reminded me of Mom as I imagined her at Athena’s age, with dark hair and bright brown eyes.
I forced myself to smile and stood from the seat I’d stolen at a random round table to hug her close. It was good to see a friendly face, and I hadn’t realized how much until now. “I’m glad you’re here, Thena.”
She laughed and held me tight. “Okay.... I didn’t expect this kind of reception. What’s up, big bro?”
I wanted to tell her everything—how Dad had sold me off to Alton, how Mom watched and did nothing other than threaten my siblings’ future, how I didn’t want to be here—but I kept my mouth shut. “I missed you.”
