Page 36 of The Apprentice
Every fiber of my being told me to take Fionn home for Sloan to handle. I had no doubt Sloan was unaware of where Fionn had gone. If he had known, he wouldn’t have allowed it unless Fionn had a ton of guards, even if they had to go undercover. The most I had seen was Ronan, who’d wisely stayed out of my way when I’d carried Fionn out of the club. So even though I should take Fionn back to Southampton, I headed toward my penthouse in Manhattan instead, tightening my grip on the steering wheel of my SUV.
Fionn sat in the passenger seat, arms crossed, anger radiating off him as he stared out the window at the glittering streets of the city. With no music on, the silence in the SUV made it easy for me to hear his harsh breaths.
“You have no reason to be mad at me,” I grunted out, some of my anger bleeding away now that we’d distanced ourselves from the threat. While I hadn’t had many conversations with Michele Scotti, I didn’t trust him. Michele had thrown himself at Fionn the moment he’d walked in. I’d seen it from where I sat at a VIP table with Aodhan. As a result, I’d reacted without the chanceto think about my actions. I couldn’t help myself. No one was good enough for Fionn.No one, not even me, and especially not MichelefuckingScotti.
Fionn let out a mean laugh. “Are you kidding?” He whipped around to glare. “You humiliated me in that club. I am nothing but a joke for the men to laugh about and you made it worse.”
I sighed. Ihadoverreacted. Throwing him over my shoulder was dramatic, but wrapped up in my anger, I hadn’t thought about anyone else except Fionn and getting him out of there, away from men who weren’t as pure or innocent.
“You shouldn’t have been there,” I argued, though the anger in my voice softened. “It was dangerous.”
“I had Ronan with me.” He laid his hands on his knees and curled them into fists. He straightened his spine, staring at me with a tightened jaw and blazing eyes. “You don’t trust me to take care of myself?”
“It’s not about trusting you, damn it!” I slammed my hand on the wheel. “Sloan never goes places like that without guards. You’re going to be the head of the Company one day, and our enemies would love a chance to take you out and make Sloan start from scratch.”
“What about you?” he snapped. “You were there, and you’re the second-in-command. You had no guards.” His eyebrows dipped. “Why were you at the club anyway? You don’t like dancing.”
I shook my head and took a deep breath, focusing on the road in front of us. There was no easy way to tell Fionn about Aodhan and his habit of finding quick fucks. While Fionn had been in Sloan’s care since he was four, Sloan had kept him away from the Company until he was old enough. He’d never met my brother and wouldn’t understand what Aodhan was like. Truth be told, I had never wanted Fionn to meet Aodhan.Ever.
Fionn snorted. “Looking for an easy fuck with someone drunk enough to forget about you?”
The pure disdain in his words had me inhaling in surprise. Fionn had always been snarky, but most of the time his bark was worse than his bite. This wasn’t the case now. He wanted to hurt me, and the dig was sharper than any barbed words he’d flung at me in the past.
“Are you done throwing a temper tantrum?” I asked, making sure to push as much disappointment as I could into my words in a way that would get a reaction from Fionn. There was nothing he hated worse than someone he respected being upset with him. And it wasn’t about hurting him, like he had done to me, but rather about teaching him a lesson. Words came with consequences. If I’d wanted to do serious damage, I could’ve said“Sloan wouldn’t expect this behavior from his apprentice.”
I couldn’t be cruel, though.
I got the response I was expecting. Fionn’s shoulders slumped and he fell back against the seat, the fury leaving him like a fire being extinguished. Guilt gnawed at me and I felt the need to make things right.
“I’m sorry for throwing you over my shoulder and carrying you out of the club.”
“You wouldn’t have done that to Sloan,” he fired back.
I winced. “You’re right. I wouldn’t have.” Sloan would’ve killed me with his bare hands if I’d even tried.
He gave me a long look, those eyes poignant and knowing. The stare reminded me a lot of the way Sloan sometimes watched people, like he knew the secrets of the universe, but he wasn’t willing to share them. Fionn was different, though. Instead of knowing the mysteries that plagued the world around him, he wanted to learn them. Live them. He was a student in every way, and the things I wanted to teach him and do to him....
The thought made me wince.
“Where are we going?” he asked, back to staring out the window.
“My place.” My grip on the steering wheel tightened, then loosened. I used the texture to stay present and in the moment, instead of fantasizing about a relationship that couldn’t happen.
“Why?” His attention slid to me. “Are you scared of what Sloan will do to you when he finds out how you handled the situation?”
I peered at him carefully. “You should be more afraid of what he’ll do toyouwhen he discovers you went to a club with only Ronan as backup.”
The reaction was almost immediate, with Fionn wincing away from me, fear bleeding into his gaze. He let out a helpless breath, small and fragile, and my heart broke for him. It wasn’t that Sloan was a terrible guardian, because he tried, it was that as a mob boss, he needed to be tough. Sometimes, Sloan took it to the extreme to make sure Fionn was ready for the future. Fionn had no idea the violence Sloan and I had seen, and I hoped he never would. But I wasn’t stupid. Fionn would find out, eventually. Heneededto, as future boss of the Company.
“I’m tired of being what he wants me to be.”
The words were so quiet I almost missed them over the sounds of the outside world. Cars honking. People partying. And then, here was Fionn, with his abject sadness, his voice so tiny I almost didn’t believe it had come from him.
“What?” My anger about the club disappeared, and when I stopped for a red light, I turned my attention completely to him. “What do you mean?”
He laughed quietly, but it wasn’t from humor, and he dropped his head forward. “I am tryingsofucking hard. And I don’t want to anymore because I’ll never be what he expects. Conall. Lor. Vail. They come in, and Sloan bends over backwardfor them. He gives them more than he gives me.” He glanced up at me and his eyes sparkled with unshed tears. “What do I have to do? When is it my turn? When will he be proud ofme?”
I couldn’t remember a time when Fionn had ever broken down like this, and the surprise punched me in the gut. I froze. I didn’t see the light change to green until someone beeped their horn behind us and startled me into hitting the accelerator.
