Page 37 of The Apprentice
Fionn twisted until his back was facing me again and gazed out the window. The silence returned and it made my skin crawl. I hated the tension stealing the air between us, making it difficult to breathe. I’d faced a lot in my life but nothing quite like this.
It wasn’t until we finally made it to my penthouse’s garage, positioned beneath the tall building in Manhattan, and I’d parked that I found my words.
“Sloan has high expectations for you,” I murmured. It didn’t get a reply from Fionn, who kept his back to me. “Believe it or not, he’s a tough nut to crack, that one, but I’ve known him for a long time, boy. Sloan’s proud of you, he just doesn’t say it.”
“Could’ve fooled me.” He sent me a glare before throwing open his door. He shot out of the vehicle, and I sighed, doing the same.
I met Fionn at the back of the SUV and managed to grasp his upper arm before he could put any more distance between us. He shoved me in an attempt to dislodge my grip, and I crowded him in return. He ended up against the back of the SUV, eyes widening, as I slapped my hands on the SUV at the sides of his head.
Our bodies pressed against one another tightly. My mind sent out warning signals to back off again, but I’d already disconnected from the rational part of my brain, focusing on the emotions that thrummed through me. Ineededhim to listen to reason, even if that meant being too close. Any words I thoughtabout saying disappeared now that our chests were pushed together.
The smell of his cologne drifted around me, all encompassing, and my breath caught.Fuck.I was in trouble. Why did I think this was a good idea? The corner of his mouth curved a little and he leaned his chin forward, as though waiting for me to man up and close the distance between us. It wouldn’t take much, either, and I could haul Fionn upstairs to the penthouse and fuck him like I’d been doing for years. I wasn’t so sure it’d be as emotionless as I’d always tried to make it, though.
Reality punched me hard in the gut, and I stumbled backward, nearly tripping over my own feet. I groaned and ran a hand over the side of my face, and when I glanced at him, guilt gnawed at my insides at the look of disappointment that passed across his pretty face. It disappeared quickly, and anger twisted his features again.
Fionn straightened. “You’re a coward.”
I didn’t deny it, even though it was more than that. There were too many reasons why Fionn and I couldn’t be in a deeper relationship. I cleared my throat and tilted my head toward the elevator. “Let’s go.”
Fionn snorted and turned his back on me, heading in the direction I gestured. We walked to an elevator, and as soon as the notification bell dinged and the doors opened, he went inside without a word.
I followed him in and hit the button for the penthouse floor. We rode in silence as the elevator ascended the many levels until it reached the very top. What was usually a comfort for me became something else. I’d never allowed him to see this part of my life, and now I was nervous to know what he would think.Fionn—a young man who already owned too many of my nighttime dreams and jerk-off sessions.
He stared around the penthouse when we got inside, eyes wide as he took in the darkness, from the large living room to the wide kitchen filled with ebony appliances and the black marble island, with the tall chairs pushed in around the sides. The only splash of color came from the few white pieces of furniture, like the couch and the chairs at the glass dining table.
I hit a couple of buttons on the security system and it beeped to let me know it was set and the alarm wouldn’t blare. From the corner of my eyes, I caught sight of the dogs peeking their heads out of the laundry room, but once they saw it was me, they retreated again.
“I know what your favorite color is.” He glanced at me with a small quirk tugging his lips. “There are other colors in the world, you know.”
I chuckled. “Black is elegant and makes the home look more luxurious.”
“I’m sure this penthouse in Manhattan is expensive enough without needing to make itlook luxurious,” he drawled seriously, shaking his head. He stepped farther inside, and I followed him, gaze straying to the tightness of Fionn’s pants around his ass. His cheeks bounced with every step, and it was difficult not to eat up the sight of them—ofhim—and not think about all the nights we’d spent together. He’d always been so beautiful, the perfect boy.
I shook my head. Fuck. I couldn’t think about it. No matter how much I wanted Fionn for more than sex, it was out of the question. If, God forbid, anything ever happened to Sloan, it was my job to lead and guide Fionn.
Not marry him.
A relationship was a bad idea because it created a weakness a boss didn’t need. Sloan had Conall, but Sloan was also experienced in the business. He was able to take that riskbecause he was battle hardened and ready to make the tough choices. Fionn wasn’t, and I was scared he never would be.
“Do you want to take a shower? I’ve got clothes you can use. Come on.” I focused on heading toward the stairs, ignoring the impossibly handsome man standing in the middle of my penthouse, even though every inch of me wanted to turn around and possess and claim him. I wasn’t an animal, and I could control myself.
He followed me up the staircase to the next floor. The dark gray hallway walls were lined with black-and-white scenic photos of Manhattan’s skyline and a couple of pale lamps. The complementary dark carpet gave the area a longer and slimmer appearance.
“Yeah, your favorite color is definitely black.” He raised his eyebrows. “How did I not know this?”
I gave him a half shrug, not denying it. Between my vehicles and my home, I didn’t have an argument against Fionn’s statement. I’d purposely not brought him here because this was my private space, a part of me he shouldn’t see, but he was herenow. A possessive side of me didn’t want him to leave.
“So, what’s the plan?” Fionn crossed his arms, head tilted in defiance. “Keep me here until Sloan comes to get me?” Every word was harsh and rude.
I stared at him for a long moment, studying him. His attitude had put him on Sloan’s shit list more than once, but I understood Fionn. Every quip, insult, and nasty comment were used to hide the vulnerable man beneath the prickly facade.
“Yes and no.” I kept my distance because regardless of what I knew about him, Fionn was a temptation I couldn’t indulge in tonight. Ihadtold him he could fuck who he wanted outside of us, but now I was beginning to regret it. I didn’t want to share him and that was a dangerous road to travel. “You whine aboutnot knowing the business as well as you should, so let’s change that.”
The tightness in his shoulders relaxed and he dropped his arms. “How?”
“Tomorrow, you’re coming with me to do our rounds. We go to our men around the city and check on how they’re doing. You’re good with numbers, so you can use that skill to help me work out which areas are profitable and which aren’t. If we find some men aren’t making the cut, we move them to another location, somewhere they can sell. Sometimes someone needs to be put in a different job. Occasionally, they’re justdone.” I didn’t elaborate on that last bit because it needed no explanation.
He hesitated. “You’re talking about drugs, right?”
