Page 10 of Angels and Skulls
Raffe
As soon as I’m home, I flip every light on in the house. I stand in the center of the living room, holding the box Maggie gave me in my hands.
An eerie silence settles around me.
It’s the first time I’ve been here in a long time. I come over to mow every week or so, but I stay outside. I’ve pretty much moved back to the warehouse.
My phone starts to vibrate in my pocket, and I already know who it is. If I don’t answer, they’ll head over here, and I don’t really want to see anyone right now.
“I’m fine,” I say as soon as I click the green button.
Jesse is quiet on the other end. “Will you be home soon?” she asks after a few seconds.
“I am home.”
“You know what I mean.”
My gaze roams over the photos in the room. “I think I might stay here tonight.”
“Oh, okay.” I can hear the disappointment in her voice.
Maybe Dirk is right. She’s getting attached.
Everything was fine at first. Just like old times. Except it wasn’t. We were all hurting, and I think being together reminded us of the time we all lived together after my accident. Those were some of the best years of my life.
I don’t know how it happened, but one night turned into two years. I mean, I have my own room there, but I’m not going to lie – I’ve found myself in their bed more times than I’d like to admit. It’s always one hundred percent innocent. I’d never cross that line. It’s more like a sleepover with my best friends.
But the other day, Dirk gave me the look. I know it’s time for me to give them some space.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” she asks, not hiding the sincere worry in her voice.
“I am. I promise. Maggie gave me a box of Jenny’s things tonight, and I just need some time to myself to go through it.”
“Raffe.” Again, she doesn’t hide her hurt. I’m not hurting her, it’s just that she hurts when I do. She loves me.
“Jesse, I’ve got to try this sometime, and tonight is as good as any. I can’t live with you guys forever.”
“Sure you can.”
It makes me laugh, because if she really thinks about it, she’ll see I can’t. Dirk has his limits. She knows this. Honestly, I think most humans have limits, but sometimes pain can blur the lines.
“You’ll come back if it’s too much?”
I breathe a sigh of relief. She’s going to accept I’m not coming back tonight. She knew this day would eventually come.
“I promise.”
“Okay. I hope you have a good night. I love you,” she says.
“I love you too. Goodnight, Jesse.”
As soon as the call disconnects, I get a text from Dirk.
Dirk: You good?
Me: I’m good.
I walk down the hall and, without looking at the bed, I dig through the closet for a pillow and blanket. Once I have what I need, I shut the light off and close the door.
