Page 95 of Accidental Groom
He snorts, then leans back in his chair, nodding his thanks to the waitress as she drops off a basket of bread and butter. “You could’ve just asked me to break the news,” he chuckles. “I would’ve driven up just to see the carnage.”
“Ross.”
“Sorry, sorry,” he says, breaking off a bit of bread. “Thank you, by the way. Don’t think I’ve said it yet this year.”
“You don’t have to thank me every year for marrying you,” I mumble.
He shakes his head, chewing before wincing as he swallows. “I do. You didn’t have to do it, and you did. I had other options.”
I take another sip of my lemonade-and-pickle-juice-cocktail, hating how much I like it. “None that would’ve gotten you stationed near your mom. Do you honestly think I was happy to let you rot out in San Diego while she was going through chemo back home? Fuck no.”
He grins at that. “You always were a bleeding heart.”
“Shut up,” I grumble, tearing off the inside of a bit of bread and dunking it into the cocktail before popping it into my mouth. He mimes a gag in response.
“Who’d have thought you’d be married to someone you actually want to be with now,” he chuckles. “After beingswornto his shithead son.”
“God help me,” I mutter.
Ross chews on his bread, watching me, his hand resting on top of his Diet Coke. “You love him?”
The words sit heavy between us for a moment, silence eating into the comfort, just the sound of an angry cook and some kind of microwave beeping from the kitchen. “Yeah,” I say eventually. It’s not even an admission anymore. It justis. “I do.”
“You say that like there’s abutcoming.”
“Yeah, because I don’t know if it matters.”
Ross rolls his eyes affectionately. “Of course it matters, El,” he sighs. “What doesn’t matter is what George thinks, or what your parents think, or what some dead woman’s ghost might think?—”
“Don’t—”
“Sorry, sorry, that was rude. But what matters isyou. You get to decide what you want now. For the first time maybe ever.”
I exhale roughly. “I don’t even know how to want things. I’ve spent so long just going along with everyone else’s plans.”
“Well, tough shit, Elly Belly,” he says, dropping the childhood nickname like it’s easy. “It’s time to learn.”
I stare at him, swallowing, trying to work out what that would even look like for me right now after what’s happened.
“You did something huge for me,” he says carefully. “Something selfless and kind and, honestly, kind of insane. And now you’re sitting here scared that the man you actuallywantmight not want you back anymore because you helped someone once? That’s crazy. Harry’s a grown-ass man, more grown than either of us. He can handle your past.”
“I just…” I feel the lump in my throat building. “I don’t want it to be the reason he walks away. And there’s always a chance it will be.”
Ross nods. “I know. That’s why you need to tell him everything. All of it. Talk to him and be honest.”
“And if it changes nothing?”
“Then you’ll know,” he says carefully. “And you’ll live. You’ve got Sarah, and you’ve got me. Hell, you’ve got a guest room at my apartment and I’ve got a fridge full of pickles. But you have to stop running. You haven’t even given him a chance to love you properly.”
The words gut me.
“Just think about it while you’re staying with me,” he says, leaning back as the waitress sets down our plates of food. “Which, by the way, you’re welcome to stay as long as you want within reason. But I will absolutely annoy you until you listen to my advice.”
I offer him a half-hearted smile. “Thanks.”
“Eat your food.” He juts his chin in the direction of my plate. “Then I’ll take you back to mine. You look like you haven’t slept in a week.”
“Feels longer,” I murmur.
