Page 60 of The Dragoneers of Longbourn and Pemberley
“All this time, I’ve thought that Nethenabbi was apathetic and ignoring me. What if he’s been thinking the same of me, in the absence of my letters?”
“If he isn’t willing to truly court you, then he doesn’t deserve you.” Valeraine said.
“Oh Val, don’t say that. It isn’t his fault our letters were stopped. He’s such a kind man. A man like that doesn’t come around often, and I don’t want to lose my chance at true love.”
Valeraine’s immediate reaction was to question the notion of true love. But she blunted it for Alyce’s sake. “A true love is strong through thick and thin, isn’t it? Wait and see if Nethenabbi makes it through this thin season.”
“You’re right, of course. Perhaps I’ll call on him next week, if he hasn’t come around yet. By then you’ll have gotten a few more proposals to decline, I’m sure.”
“I won’t always turn them down. Just the ones from arrogant lords who assume there is nothing of value tethering me to Longbourn.”
There was one proposal, in particular, that she would accept. If it ever came. She didn’t want a dragon house to be handed to her with a marriage contract. She wanted to earn it, to save her home. She wanted, when someone looked at her, not to see a weak woman from a dying house, but the woman who built a house, who was strong beyond imagining.
Chapter forty-two
Aletter came during lunchtime, from Netherfield. Valeraine assumed it must be from Nethenabbi — the drought of correspondence broken at last. But the letter was not for Alyce.
It was for Valeraine.
It was from Pemberley.
She didn’t open it immediately, not ready to read these words in front of her family at the table. It would contain further insults, that was certain. It may include pleading for her to accept his proposal. It would include begging for her to not reveal him as Scaleheart. It would be utterly repulsive.
She went to the nest, wanting the solid comfort of Lelantos. The nest was chilly, but bearable. The dragon was sleeping soundly, his regular breathing filling the space. He radiated a gentle warmth, stoked from the fire in his chest. This nest could fit so many dragons, and yet it only held one. The single whooshing of breath punctuated the quiet emptiness. It wasfamiliar to Valeraine, as this is how the nest had always been for her.
She hoisted herself onto the pulley swing, taking it high into the air. She sat dangling above her dragon, swaying gently from her movements and the draft of the dragon's breath and warmth. She was untouchable. Whatever angry rants Pemberley felt he needed to deliver to her, she was secure. She held the trump card over him: his secrets. He had no power over her fate.
Now, she would not give him power over her emotions.
Valeraine opened the letter, and let the envelope flutter to the ground.
Miss Valeraine Longbourn,
I am aware any repetition of my earlier sentiments would be repugnant to you, so you may be assured that is not my intention in this letter. I will not plead for your hand further. I do not wish to humble myself by resuming my pursuit of you.
However, I must defend myself against your slanderous accusations.
It was the height of arrogance for him to attempt to continue their argument. Did he suppose he would deliver a winning blow, and that she would send him a reply conceding the victory?
First, as to my meddling in the correspondence of Miss Longbourn and Mr. Nethenabbi. It is true I stopped their letters from reaching their intended recipients. This was intended as a kindness and a mercy, but I see now it didn’t have that effect.
Nethenabbi has been taken in affection with many women. His feelings rule him, guiding to women who were trying to swindle him from his money, or toy with his emotions for sport. Seeing him grow enamored with your sister, I assumed that was the case. The rumors of their impending marriage — started by your mother — confirmed my suspicions. Miss Alyce’s feelings toward my friend were lukewarm at best, with her doing very little to encourage him. I assumed there was no depth of feeling on her part, and too much on his.
When I discovered you were racing, it felt even more important to separate them in case the scandal broke and touched Netherfield through its connections to Longbourn. To protect my friend, I persuaded him to go to Kinellan City, and severed all communication between them. His heart was too volatile to behave with self-preservation, so intervention was necessary.
This was a very poor point. He confessed with all arrogance, explaining why he was right to do the despicable. Valeraine’s hands gripped the paper, wrinkling the sides. She couldn’t bearto continue to read his haughty words, and yet she couldn’t stop. What would he unveil next?
I see now that I was wrong, and I apologize. I have now confessed the extent of my meddling to Mr. Nethenabbi. He was upset, and so I will be leaving Netherfield today. I regret that my actions have caused so many rents in relationships: between Miss Longbourn and Mr. Nethenabbi, between him and me, and finally between us. I hope with time these relationships will heal.
In the weeks that have passed since I discovered you riding, I realized I was paranoid. I imagined it a matter of days or hours before it was discovered by all. It seems a much better kept secret than I supposed, far away from the scandal sheets. I panicked and acted rashly, and I am sorry.
Pemberley was apologizing.
He wasn’t excusing his actions, trying to bat away her accusations. He was admitting he was wrong.
Pemberley, the haughtiest man in the world, was apologizing to her.
A pit seemed to be slowly opening in Valeraine’s stomach. It was yawning wider, lilting in time with the swing she was sitting on.
