Page 126 of For Love or Money
‘We look like a right pair of eejits,’ Dan said, looking at it over her shoulder.
‘Speak for yourself,’ Stella said, with mock indignation. She was wearing what Dan used to call her ‘mermaid wig’, long snaky tresses streaked with pale blues and pinks. ‘I looked fabulous.’ She’d known that wig would get her into trouble, but she’d worn it anyway.
‘May I see?’ Rafe asked, and she handed it to him.
‘You were so pretty,’ he said softly, looking down at the image. Then he handed it back to her.
Stella looked at the photo. She didn’t see pretty, but she tried to view it objectively, through Rafe’s eyes, and she could see why he might think so. She’d forgotten what a good job she’d done even back then. ‘I was always good at make-up,’ she said. ‘It’s just smoke and mirrors.’
‘Well, I’d better get back to the pub and rescue Annie.’ Dan gave Stella an apologetic glance. He stood, and she walked with him to the door.
She grabbed his hand as he turned to go, holding him back. ‘Did Mam—Did she say anything about me?’
He shook his head, giving her a pitying look. ‘No. Dad’s death hasn’t magically transformed her into a human being with actual feelings. Sorry.’
Stella shrugged and gave him a rueful smile. It was exactly what she’d been hoping for after all.
‘It’s such bullshit all those people pretending they don’t know you exist. I told her you should be mentioned in the service. But I’m sure you can imagine what she said to that.’
Stella nodded. ‘That they don’t have a daughter. That they never had a daughter.’
‘Yeah.’ Dan sighed. ‘She’s just as much of a gobshite as he ever was. There was a pair of them in it. Makes you wonder where they got us, doesn’t it?’
‘I know! I mean, we’re great.’
‘Sorry I can’t stay longer, but I don’t want to leave Annie alone with that lot too long.’
‘No, of course not. Go. God, she must be wondering what that was all about at the church.’
‘Can I tell her ... about you?’
‘After all this time ... what would you say?’
‘That I have a sister. That I’ve always had a sister.’
Stella’s eyes stung with tears.
‘And that my sister’s a fucking legend.’
She took Dan’s hand and nodded as she gave it a squeeze.
‘She’ll want to meet you.’
‘I’d like that.’
‘Okay, I’ll be in touch.’ He gave her a final hug and left.
42
‘Wow, what a strange day,’ Stella said when she rejoined Rafe, sinking back onto the sofa. She hardly knew how she felt, her emotions pulled in multiple different directions at once, veering dizzyingly between relief, melancholy and a devastating sense of loss that she couldn’t even comprehend. Because what had she lost? Nothing she hadn’t already left behind a long time ago. Her father had been dead to her for years. Her mother’s rejection was nothing new. It shouldn’t feel so sharp and shocking. If nothing else, this morning was confirmation that she’d been right to cut her ties to her parents. She’d wondered sometimes over the years if she should attempt a reconciliation, if things might be different, if they might regret how they’d treated her and just be waiting for her to make the first move ...
But nothing had changed. She hadn’t been missing out needlessly simply for want of trying. At least she knew now she’d made the right choice, living the way she did. And what did it matter if her mother didn’t love her and her family rejected her? It made no difference to the life she’d made for herself. She didn’t need them. She had people in her life now who loved her for who she was. She had Peter ...
‘Are you okay?’ Rafe asked, sitting beside her and looking at her with concern.
‘Yes.’ She shook herself out of her stupor and gave him a reassuring smile. ‘I’m fine.’ In truth, she wasn’t sure how she felt. Suddenly, her carefully coiled life was beginning to unravel, and even though it was scary and confusing, and her instinct was to wind it all up tight again, there was also relief in the thought of just letting go ...
‘Well, I suppose we should be going,’ she said, glancing at her watch. It was just after three.
