Page 132 of For Love or Money
Stella took a deep breath. ‘You don’t want to get married, do you, Peter?’ she said, breaking into his flow. ‘At least not to me.’ She didn’t want to sound accusatory, but somehow that was how it came out. Peter looked startled at first, then sagged in his chair – whether from relief that one of them had said it or defeat at being found out, she wasn’t sure. He shifted around in his seat, looking uncomfortable. He raised his mug to his mouth and put it down again without drinking. He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again. He seemed totally at a loss.
‘You don’t want to get married either, do you?’ he said finally, a mixture of sadness and relief in his voice. It was sort of an answer.
‘I wouldn’t mind,’ she said. She was immediately annoyed with herself. This was happening anyway. What was the point in making it harder for him?
Peter looked aghast. ‘You’d still go through with it? Butwhy?’
‘Well, I’ve worked my arse off planning this wedding for one thing! It will be such a faff to call it all off.’ She tried to make light of it, determined to let him off the hook. She might as well be dignified about it.
Peter smiled. ‘Yes, I see what you mean. I suppose it’d be easier just to go through with it.’
‘Much easier. It was going to be such a beautiful wedding too. Plus think of all the presents that were coming our way.’
‘I did rather fancy that Ludmila Korol painting we had on our registry.’
‘And I really wanted the pink Smeg kettle. Couldn’t we at least wait until we get those?’
‘Sorry.’ He took her hand across the table. ‘I can’t.’
She wondered would he ever have said it. If she hadn’t called a halt, would he have gone through with it? ‘We could have had a good life together, Peter. I still believe that. I’m not saying this was a mistake.’
‘There’s just one little problem,’ he said. ‘We’re not in love.’
‘No. But then, we never were. It didn’t stop us before. It wouldn’t be a problem if you weren’t in love with someone else.’
He withdrew his hand and sat back in his chair. ‘I’m sorry, Stella. I never meant to hurt you.’
‘I know,’ she said. ‘And hey, it’s not so bad – at least you didn’t break my heart.’
‘I was never unfaithful to you, you know,’ he said. ‘If that’s any consolation.’
It seemed strange to talk about infidelity when they’d never even slept together, but she was glad he hadn’t slept with Jane. It would have been disrespectful and uncaring, and she liked to think that Peter thought more of her than that, even if he didn’t love her. But it seemed odd that being in love didn’t count when it meant so much more than a casual hook-up with some random woman.
Peter took a deep breath, his eyes wary. ‘What about you and Rafe?’ he asked.
‘Me and Rafe?’ She looked at him in confusion. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I thought perhaps ... I mean, you seem to have become close.’
Surely he didn’t think that they’d been shagging in Galway?
‘You know, I may not want to marry you, but—’ His eyes darted away. ‘I’m very fond of you, and I would love you to be part of our family.’
Stella’s breath caught. Oh no, he did not just say that! She was glad he was looking down at his hands as he finished, so she had some time to disguise her shock. When he looked up again, she was smiling crookedly. ‘You want to adopt me?’
Peter laughed, but there was a sadness behind his eyes. ‘What will you do?’ he asked.
‘I don’t know.’ Start again, she supposed. But she had more now than when she’d first come here. ‘I’ll stay in Ireland, though,’ she said. ‘To be near Dan and Annie.’
‘Yes, good decision. Family is the most important thing.’
She may not be marrying Peter, but she had gained a family anyway. How strange ... ‘But first,’ she said, standing up, ‘we have to get busy dismantling this wedding. You said you’d be at my beck and call today.’
‘Yours to command.’
‘Well, get out the guest list and start making phone calls. I’ll get on to the registry office and florist, and as for the cake and catering ... do you know anyone who could use a second-hand party?’
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