Page 34 of For Love or Money
‘No, but ... you could trip and fall, for instance.’
‘Really? I don’t see how.’
‘Well ... you might need to go to the loo. It’s down two steps. You could have a fall then.’
‘What if Al slips on his way to the loo? If you have public liability insurance—’
‘Okay, it’s not really about health and safety,’ Lesley said. ‘The truth is, I prefer to stick to just one student at a time. Any more ... um, drains too much energy from the room,’ she said, trying to sound mystical.
‘Oh. Okay.’ Stella nodded. ‘I understand. Some other time, maybe? Only I was hoping it was something Peter and I could do together.’
Oh, screw it, Lesley thought. It would give her an in with Stella, and it wasn’t as if she had no experience to draw on. She’d done that meditation course. It was mostly just telling people to breathe in and out. How hard could it be? She’d just wing it as best she could. Besides, thinking on your feet and toughing out tricky situations was all in a day’s work for a PI. At least she hadn’t pretended to be a yoga teacher. She didn’t fancy her chances of leading everyone in a downward dog.
‘All right, then. You can stay,’ Lesley told them. Her eyes flicked to the living room, and Al shot her a panicked look.
‘Oh, great!’ Stella beamed. ‘Thank you.’
‘Okay,’ she said, clapping her hands. ‘Follow me, and we’ll get started.’
Al gave Lesley a ‘what the fuck’ glare as she led Stella and Peter into the living room. She shrugged helplessly in reply. She was glad to see the incident board was nowhere in sight.
‘Okay, find a space,’ she said, spreading her arms in a Christ-like gesture to encompass the room.
She stood by the mantelpiece as Peter and Stella joined Al on the floor and looked up at her expectantly.
‘Right,’ she said, stalling for time, ‘since we have some newcomers tonight, why don’t we start by going around the room and introducing ourselves?’
Al gave a hoot of laughter that he quickly turned into a cough, while Stella and Peter looked at each other in bewilderment.
‘We all know each other,’ Stella said.
‘Well, yes, but … I don’t really know you, Stella. Tell us a little bit about yourself and what brought you here today – your meditation journey, if you like,’ she said, hitting her stride.
‘Um, okay.’ Stella gave Peter a bemused smile. ‘Well, I’ve been living in LA for the past few years. I’m engaged to this lovely man here,’ she said, nodding to Peter, ‘and we’ve just moved back to Ireland. I’m supporting him in his journey back to health and working on building a healthy, happy life together. I thought meditation would be a good place to start.’
Peter looked touched, and reached across to squeeze Stella’s hand.
‘And you have some previous meditation experience?’ Lesley prompted.
‘Oh, yes. I do a daily practice, and I’ve done a lot of training over the years in various disciplines. Last year I went on a Vipassana course in Nepal. Have you ever done one, Lesley?’
‘No, I ... haven’t got around to it yet. It’s on my bucket list.’ Just her luck Stella would turn out to be a meditation buff.
‘It’s pretty intense – ten hours of meditation a day for ten days, no communication, no contact with the outside world.’
‘Oh.’ Lesley gulped. ‘Not even ... a mobile phone?’
‘No. My teacher used to joke that we could have email, but no attachments.’
That was a joke?‘Ha ha. Very funny. Well, you’ll find my style a little more ... easy-going.’
‘What tradition do you follow?’
‘Oh, it’s quite eclectic, really – a sort of rag-bag I’ve picked up over the years. I originally trained with the Buddhist Monks of Rathmines. Have you heard of them?’
‘No.’
‘Well, I guess they’re big fish in a small pond. I’d say they’d be the top dogs on the Dublin enlightenment scene.’
