Page 23 of For Love or Money
As she waited, she peeled a banana and threw it into the blender along with some strawberries.
‘Okay,’ he said, his voice louder now.
‘So, when can I see you?’ she asked.
‘You’re in Ireland?’
‘Yes, in Dublin. We got here the day before yesterday.’ She spooned yoghurt into the blender. ‘We’re in Peter’s house in Killiney. You should see it. It’s amazing!’
‘I’d love to see it,’ he said, and there was just the hint of a challenge in his tone, ‘but I take it you’re not inviting me to meet the fiancé?’
‘No,’ she said, some of her pleasure in talking to him draining away, ‘but I can’t wait to see you.’
‘I know, me too.’ He sounded conciliatory. He knew what power he had to make her feel bad. He was too sweet-natured to wield it. ‘How about Friday?’
‘Sorry. We have this thing with Annie’s parents. It’s their anniversary.’
Annie, his beautiful wife. They’d never met, but Stella had seen photographs.
‘I could do next weekend,’ he said.
‘Okay. I could meet you in Galway? I’ll book a hotel and stay over – somewhere with five stars and posh afternoon tea.’ She was excited already, picturing the two of them in an elegant hotel lounge, drinking champagne and eating dainty sandwiches with the crusts cut off.
When they’d said their goodbyes, she couldn’t stop grinning as she poured apple juice into the blender, slapped on the lid and switched it on. Talking to Dan always calmed and reassured her. He had a way of making her insecurities melt away. He’d always been able to make her feel safe, like nothing bad could really touch her when he was there. He’d whispered it to her in the dark so many times – ‘It’ll be okay. Everything will be okay’. It had been hard to see at the time how it could ever be okay for her, and it was only because she trusted him so completely that she’d been able to believe him. But he’d been right. Everything had turned out fine, and look at her now! She had put all the ugliness of the past behind her, and she was a healthy, great-looking twenty-six-year-old woman, living in this beautiful house with a wonderful man who wanted to marry her.
She poured her smoothie into a tall glass and stood looking out the window as she drank. It was sweet, cool and refreshing. Outside, the sun was high in a cloudless blue sky. It was going to be a beautiful day.
* * *
Peter foundStella in the kitchen with her back to him, looking out the window.
‘You’re up early!’ she said, turning to him with a bright smile.
‘Not as early as you,’ he said, pulling out a chair and sitting at the table. ‘Been out for a run?’
‘Yes.’ She slid into his lap, winding her arms around his neck. ‘It’s too beautiful here to stay in bed.’
As he wrapped his arms around her lithe body, he was suddenly struck by how young and vibrant she was, so full of potential, and he felt a stab of guilt. She still had so much of life ahead of her, so much possibility for adventure and … love. Would he be curtailing all that by marrying her? Was he cutting off access to all those open roads and steering her into a dead end?
‘Am I being very selfish, marrying you?’ he asked.
‘Probably,’ she said with a shrug. ‘And I’m being very selfish marrying you. No one gets married for altruistic reasons, do they?’
He smiled. ‘No, I suppose not.’
‘You’re not getting cold feet, are you?’ She punched him playfully on the arm.
‘Never.’ He couldn’t say exactly what he meant, because that would mean acknowledging the elephant in the room; the thing both of them knew and neither of them had ever spoken of since his surprise proposal and her even more surprising acceptance. He wasn’t sure there would be any going back if either of them were to say it out loud. It might not change anything. But he was pretty sure Stella didn’t want to test their shaky foundations any more than he did.
‘There’s so much I don’t know about you,’ he said wistfully.
‘Well, what would you like to know?’
‘Have you ever been in love?’ he asked on impulse, and then immediately regretted it. ‘I mean, before me, obviously,’ he added, losing his nerve.
‘Only once.’ A shadow flickered across her face. ‘I didn’t like it.’
It was probably as close as they’d come to admitting how they felt about each other. But they both had their reasons for wanting this marriage, and they were going into it with their eyes open.
