Page 35 of For Love or Money
Al’s lips were twitching, and Stella looked bemused.
‘Right.’ Lesley clapped her hands. ‘That’s enough chit-chat.’ Improv was fun up to a point, but she was starting to break into a sweat. ‘Let’s get on with the show. Everyone close your eyes.’
They all obediently did so, and Lesley looked around quickly for some suitable accoutrements. She had a feeling there should be candles and incense, possibly even a gong. She didn’t have anything very spiritual-looking, but there was a fat Jo Malone candle on the mantelpiece; that would have to do. She lit it and placed it on the floor at her feet.
‘Focus on your breathing,’ she said, softening her voice. ‘In through the mouth and out through the nose.’ She took a few deep breaths to demonstrate while she tried to recall everything she’d ever heard in meditation or yoga classes. ‘Think about the space between your eyebrows – your third eye – as you breathe in. Feel the warmth of your breath on your face – that bit under your nose and above your lip ... where your moustache would be, if you had one. If a thought comes into your head, just let it go and bring your focus back to your breath. Empty your mind of all thoughts.’
She checked her watch. Christ, there wasn’t even five minutes gone yet and she was already running out of steam. How was she going to keep this up for an hour? ‘Notice the sounds and smells in the room ...’ Gah, why had she mentioned sounds and smells? She hoped no one farted and thought she was drawing attention to it. ‘Listen to the breathing of the other people around you ... focus on the lovely smell of the scented candle ... lime, basil and mandarin by Jo Malone ... just be aware of it, and let it go.
‘Imagine you’re on a beach,’ she ploughed on. ‘Feel the softness of the sand under you, the warmth of the sun on your skin. Listen to the sound of the waves on the shore, going in and out ... in and out ... in with the good, out with the bad. Out with the old, in with the new,’ she said, pleased with this sudden flash of inspiration. ‘Just be in the now ... experience this moment ... observe all the sounds you can hear going on around you ... on the beach, I mean, not in real life ... the waves swooshing in and out ... seagulls squawking overhead. Maybe there’s a yappy dog or a child howling in the distance ... just notice them and then let them go. Try to empty your mind—’
Peter opened one eye and squinted at her. ‘If you’d stop wittering on for a couple of seconds, it might help,’ he said.
‘Oh, yes. Good point. Okay ... be alone with your thoughts ... lack of thoughts ... I’ll shut up now. Just focus on your breath ... be with what is ... in the now ...’
She trailed off, relieved that she could stop talking. But she was still in a sweat at the thought of having to stand here watching them breathe for another forty minutes. Maybe she could get them to open their eyes and stare at the candle flame for a while, just to mix things up a bit. She decided she might as well sit down, and sank to the floor. She wished she could get a book, but she didn’t want to be caught on the hop if Stella should happen to peek. It would look very unprofessional. Al opened his eyes briefly and grinned at her. She smiled back and they exchanged a friendly eye-roll over her predicament.
After half an hour, Peter was starting to shift and fidget. Stella was still and serene, and looked perfectly relaxed sitting in a full-on lotus, her back ramrod straight. When Peter opened his eyes and started making faces at Lesley – comical grimaces of pain, silent calls for help, miming hanging himself – she decided enough was enough. She couldn’t hold out any longer, and if Peter kept up his antics, she was going to either burst out laughing or go over and give him a clip around the ear, neither of which would be in keeping with her dignity as a meditation guru.
She got to her feet and grabbed a poker from the set of fire irons in the grate. Using it as a makeshift gong, she clattered it against the brass stand. ‘And you’re back in the room,’ she announced, snapping her fingers for good measure.
Al sputtered a laugh, and Peter and Stella looked like they were only just holding it in.
‘Well, that was ... interesting,’ Stella said, slowly unknotting her legs and stretching her limbs. ‘It was certainly different.’
‘Yes, well ... that’s the Rathmines lot for you. They’re very cutting edge.’
‘The time flew.’ Stella glanced at her watch. ‘I can’t believe it’s been—Oh!’
‘Yes, as it’s the last class tonight before we break for the summer, I decided to just do the half hour. I thought we could have tea and cake for the rest of the time, to celebrate the end of term.’
Lesley was relievedto be back on familiar territory as they all sat around the kitchen table. She and Al had big mugs of coffee and were tucking into doughnuts Al had brought, while Peter and Stella sipped green tea.
‘Are you sure you won’t have one, Stella?’ Lesley asked, holding out the plate of doughnuts. ‘They’re really good.’
‘No, thanks. We don’t eat cake. Poor Peter can’t, so I don’t either. It makes it easier for him if it’s just not around.’
‘That’s very nice of you.’ Lesley was impressed. She didn’t know if she’d have it in her to be so self-sacrificing. ‘You obviously take great care of him.’
‘She does.’ Peter put an arm around Stella and smiled at her fondly. ‘I’m very lucky to have her.’
Stella smiled back at him, blushing.
‘So you’re finished classes for now?’ she asked Lesley.
‘Yes. Probably for good, actually.’
‘Oh?’
‘Yeah. I don’t think teaching meditation is really my forte.’
Peter hooted. ‘That’s putting it mildly.’
‘Peter!’ Stella gave him an admonishing frown.
‘It’s fine,’ Lesley said. ‘He’s absolutely right. It was just something I was trying out as a side hustle, really.’
‘What’s your main job?’ Peter asked.
