Page 44 of For Love or Money
Lesley knewshe’d have her mother on her case now that she’d outed Al as her boyfriend, but she hadn’t expected it to happen quite so quickly. Her phone was ringing as she got out of the shower. She was glad she didn’t manage to grab it in time before it rang off when she saw that it was her mother and she already had three missed calls from her. Bloody hell! Why hadn’t she held off a little longer before going public? She should at least have waited until she was back in Dublin. She sighed and tossed the phone on the bed. She wasn’t going to bother answering. She’d just wait for her to call back. She knew she wouldn’t have to wait long.
She was glad she had at least managed to finish dressing before her phone rang again.
‘Finally!’ was her mother’s greeting when she answered. ‘I was starting to wonder if we should get the guards involved.’
‘What?’
‘I’ve rung you three times this morning and no answer. I was starting to worry.’
‘Sorry. I’m just away at the moment.’
‘So, I hear you have a new boyfriend,’ she said. Her tone was accusing.
‘Where did you hear that?’
‘Katrina told me she saw it on Facebook. It’s a nice thing when every randomer on the internet gets to hear what’s going on in your life before your own mother.’
‘It’s very early days. I only posted it last night.’
‘Well, I hope you’re not going to let the grass grow under your feet this time. You’re not getting any younger, Lesley. Act fast, if you want to hold onto him, that’s my advice. You don’t have time to be wasting at your time of life.’
‘Mam! I’m thirty!’ Lesley rolled her eyes. Her mother was probably already looking at mother-of-the-bride outfits.
‘I know what age you are – that’s my point. And don’t you roll your eyes at me, young lady.’
‘I wasn’t!’
‘Don’t think I can’t hear you.’
‘Well, you shouldn’t be talking to me like that if you think I’m so ancient. You should have more respect for the elderly.’
‘Where are you anyway that you can’t answer your phone – Timbuktu?’
‘As good as,’ she said in a put-upon tone. ‘Sorry, Mam. We’re staying with Al’s aunt in Clare – a place called Doonbeg. The signal isn’t great here.’ She crossed her fingers, hoping her mother had never been to Doonbeg. The signal was just fine. But her mother was a militant Dubliner and didn’t really hold with other parts of the country. In her view, anywhere beyond the M50 was a wasteland, devoid of phone signals and other accoutrements of civilisation, inhabited by oddballs and bandits, and to be avoided at all costs.
‘Doonbeg!’ Her mother tutted. ‘I don’t like the sound of that at all.’ She sighed heavily. ‘So when are you going to bring him around so we can all have a look at him?’
‘There’s a photo on Facebook. Get Katrina to show you if you’re so keen to have a look at him.’
‘I wouldn’t have to ask Katrina to show me if you’d just accept my friend request. What kind of person refuses a friend request from her own mother?’
‘No one wants to be friends with their parents on Facebook, Mam.’
‘Sheila Ryan is friends with all her children on Facebook.’ Another martyred sigh. ‘Anyway, I’m not talking about a photo. Bring him around for tea, so we can meet him properly.’
‘Okay, but you’ll all have to be on your best behaviour. I don’t want to scare him off.’ She hoped the prospect of Lesley letting another man ‘slip through her fingers’ would get her mother to back off.
‘It’s just tea, for feck’s sake – a few sandwiches and a bit of cake. What type of eejit would be scared off by that? I’ll get a Black Forest gateau. We haven’t had that in a while.’
Lesley knew when she was beaten; she couldn’t resist Black Forest gateau. ‘I suppose it would be kind of nice.’
‘That’s settled, then. Bring him to tea and we’ll all give you our opinion on him.’
‘Great. Thanks, Mam.’
‘No bother, love. Sure, what’s a mother for?’
If only you knew, Lesley thought.
