Page 53 of For Love or Money
‘Now, if there’s nothing else—’
‘No, thank you for your time,’ Al said.
‘Hang on!’ Lesley said quickly, holding up a finger to Al. ‘There is one more thing you could help me with,’ she said to Conor.
‘Oh?’ Al turned to her, eyebrows raised.
‘I’m going to ask him about Katrina,’ she said to him in a loud whisper.
‘Your sister?’
She nodded. ‘I’m going to ask him what we should do about the whole proposal fiasco.’ It was like being in the presence of some sort of oracle. She had to grab the opportunity while she had his attention.
‘Who are you going to ask, the cat’s mother?’ Conor said.
‘Oh, sorry,’ Lesley said, turning to him. ‘That was rude. I’d like to have another question, please.’
‘Go ahead. What’s this about your sister?’
‘Well, she has this boyfriend, you see, and he’s lovely, only he’s also a bit of an eejit. He’s going to propose to her, and he’s making a real song and dance about it – literally.’ She explained the whole proposal-by-flash-mob plan, resisting the urge to preface her speech with ‘Oh, great and powerful Oz’.
‘So, what do you think we should do?’ she asked when she’d finished.
‘Well, my advice would be to keep the choreography simple, stay away from jazz hands, and depending on your budget—’
‘No, no, no.’ Lesley waved a hand to stop him. ‘I’m not looking for advice about the routine. That’s all sorted.’
‘Really? What song are you doing?’
Lesley hesitated. She really didn’t want to say it out loud. ‘“All of Me”,’ she admitted, cringing.
‘Oh dear.’ Conor gave her a weary look.
‘I know.’
‘And herfather’sgoing to be involved?’
‘Look, Iknow! Not to mention me, her sister. It’s horrible, and it’s going to be a disaster. Katrina will hate it, and she’ll hate Tom for doing it to her. But Mam won’t let me warn him because she’s desperate to be on YouTube—’
‘So you want to find a way to call it off?’ Conor interrupted.
‘Yes. Please!’
Conor regarded her in silence for a moment, twiddling his thumbs as he thought. The silence went on so long, Lesley thought he was stumped.
‘Pre-emptive strike,’ he said then, decisively.
‘What?’
‘Your sister does want to marry this person, yes?’
‘Yes, she does. We all want her to marry him.’
‘Then suggest to her thatshepropose tohim– and get her to do it before this song-and-dance debacle is planned to go off.’
Lesley blinked. ‘Pre-emptive strike!’ she said wonderingly. It was genius. Why hadn’t she thought of it? Probably because it was genius and she wasn’t. ‘It’s brilliant! Thank you so much,’ she said as she stood. She was tempted to go around the desk and throw her arms around Conor, but she got the feeling he wasn’t the huggy type.
‘If that doesn’t work, at least get this Tom to change the song you’re doing. I’d suggest “Marry You” by Bruno Mars. At least that’s more upbeat, and less creepy for her father to sing to her. Still odd as fuck in the circumstances, but what wouldn’t be?’
