Page 40 of The Reboot
‘He’s got some good recipes too.’
Roly groaned. ‘Oh god, are we going to have to cook all the time?’
‘It won’t be so bad. We can take turns. And we could do intermittent fasting. That’s meant to be really good for you, and it’d save calories, timeandmoney.’
‘The triple whammy.’
‘Speaking of money, are you signing on?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Signing on – you know, for benefit.’
‘You mean like … the dole?
‘Social welfare.’
‘No. I doubt I qualify for that.’
‘I’m pretty sure you would. You should apply for Jobseeker’s.’
‘Jobseeker’s?’ He screwed up his face. ‘That definitely doesn’t sound like something I’d qualify for.’
‘Why not?’
‘Well, I mean, the clue is in the name. It’s for people who are, you know … seeking a job.’
‘And you’re not?’
He shrugged. ‘There’s not much demand for my skill set. But if you know of any boy bands that are recruiting…’
‘Oh, come on, I’m sure there are lots of other things you could do.’
‘Like what?’
‘You could be a waiter, work in a shop…’
‘Who’d hire me? I don’t have any experience and I’m not qualified for anything. I’ve never had a normal job in my life.’
‘Well, maybe it’s time you got one. But in the meantime, you should apply for benefit. You’re entitled to it – you paid tax after all.’
‘I did that all right.’ He frowned. ‘But I’m not sure it was the right kind.’
‘Well, no harm in applying anyway. It’s insurance – you’ve paid into it in case of a rainy day, and now that rainy day has come, you have a right to claim it. I mean, you pay house insurance, right?’
‘Yeah…’
‘And if there was a fire, you’d expect them to pay out.’
‘Well … not if I’d burned the place down myself.’
‘It’s not like you committed arson! Maybe you didn’t take care of some dodgy wiring, or you left a faulty appliance plugged in overnight. But you didn’t deliberately torch the place. It was an accident.’
‘Even if it was really my fault?’
‘Yes. You’d still be entitled to claim on your insurance. Same with benefits.’
‘Still … I don’t want to be one of those welfare cheats like you read about in the papers.’
