Page 6 of The Reboot
There I go again, Ella thought, as they collapsed in laughter. But she could hardly complain about being the butt of the joke when she was the one telling it.
‘Yeah, it did kind of take the shine off my grand exit.’ Jake and Dylan (or Tweedledum and Tweedledee as she’d started to think of them) had been very nice about it, playing down their amusement as they rescued her from the cupboard and ushered her out. Dylan had even walked her through Reception to the main door. But she had no doubt they’d collapsed in giggles as soon as she was gone. They’d probably spent the rest of the day laughing about it – probably regaling the rest of the staff with it too. Oh well, at least she’d never see either of them again.
‘Speaking of inappropriate questions,’ Nora said, ‘the other day I got asked if I like it up the bum.’
‘What! Now, that is definitely illegal.’
‘Not on dating apps it’s not. Anything goes there. Still, I must admit I was a bit shocked. I mean, a complete stranger just coming straight out with it like that – as if he was asking me if I like Thai food or something!’ She sighed. ‘Times have changed. There were no bums when we were young, were there?’ She appealed to Ruth.
‘I’m pretty sure there were always bums.’
‘Yes, but they weren’t … out there. At least, I certainly never came across them. They’re a whole thing now. Bums! I’m telling you, it’s a different world.’
Ella spluttered a laugh and almost choked on a mouthful of wine.
‘I mean, it used to be you’d warm up to stuff like that, get to know each other first. Now people just put it out there on their dating profile – I enjoy long walks on the beach, Coldplay and giving anal.’
‘Well … two out of three’s not bad?’ Ruth said.
‘Yeah, but Coldplay is a deal-breaker.’
Ella laughed. Maybe she wasn’t the only one who tried to make light of her disappointment by laughing it off. Poor Nora. ‘Men!’ She rolled her eyes and topped up their glasses, draining the bottle.
‘You’ll have to deal with it when you start dating again,’ Nora said to her. ‘Best to be prepared.’
‘Well, I’m glad I cashed in my chips before bums became a thing. Will I open another?’ Ruth asked, already standing.
‘Yeah, it’s definitely a two-bottle night,’ Nora said.
‘I’m not in any hurry to start dating,’ Ella said. ‘I’m just concentrating on finding a job for now. One thing at a time.’
‘Very wise.’ Her mother placed another bottle on the table.
‘It’s lovely to see you getting back on your feet.’ Her aunt put a hand over Ella’s and gave it a squeeze. ‘And don’t worry, I’m sure something else will turn up soon.’
‘Yeah. For you too,’ Ella said and they smiled at each other sympathetically. ‘Oh, I got something for you!’ She leaned down to root in the satchel at her feet and produced a thick travel brochure, placing it on the table between her mother and aunt.
‘Ooh, lovely!’ Nora smiled, pulling it towards her. ‘A nice bit of armchair travelling.’
‘Where will we go next?’ Ruth moved her chair closer to Nora’s, looking over her shoulder as she flicked through the pages.
‘It’s about time you did some travelling for real,’ Ella said. You know, where you go to an actual airport—’
‘With actual luggage that almost gives you a hernia getting it off the carousel,’ Ruth joined in dreamily. ‘Surly security staff patting you down and making you take your shoes off.’
‘Eating terrible airplane food,’ Nora said wistfully.
‘Getting bitten by mosquitoes and ripped off by dodgy taxi drivers.’ Ruth sighed.
‘Delhi belly and sunburn, and drunken trysts with awful foreign pick-up artists.’
‘The scary toilets!’
‘The enormous creepy-crawlies!’
‘You make it sound so appealing.’ Ella laughed
‘Oh, but then there’s setting off at dawn along dusty roads with that special early-morning smell in the air.’
