Page 62 of The Reboot
‘Do you miss all that?’
‘What?’
‘Discussing philosophy and stuff.’
‘Not really.’
‘I mean, I’ll give it a go if you want.’
She shook her head. ‘It’s all just going around in circles really – discussing theories and abstract concepts. It doesn’t make anything happen. Nothing gets created or changed. I’d rather talk about real life.’
Andrew had never tired of those earnest undergraduate discussions, the enervating afternoons spent sitting around dissecting the ideas of Kant, Nietzsche or Adorno. She’d found it stimulating up to a point, after which it made her twitch with longing to go outside and feel the cold, sharp air on her skin; to run until her lungs were bursting and her heart pounding with energy and life; to swim and swim in an ice-cold sea.
‘You don’t think they’re getting off with each other right now, do you?’ Roly asked.
‘No,’ Ella said, trying to imbue the word with more conviction than she felt.
‘One thing leads to another…’
‘Yeah. Maybe she’ll flash him again.’
‘Sorry about that.’
Ella shrugged. ‘Not your fault.’
‘You could flash me, if you like.’ He raised an eyebrow, grinning. ‘Get your revenge.’
Ella giggled. ‘Nice try. How is that getting my revenge?’
‘Like Pippa said, sauce for the goose…’
Their eyes met, and Ella’s breath caught. Roly’s gaze dropped to her lips and for a moment she thought he was going to kiss her. Suddenly all she could think of was his beautiful mouth, how warm and soft it looked and how much she wanted to kiss it.
‘Are you still in love with her?’ She was surprised to hear herself saying that. She hadn’t planned it. It had just come out.
‘What?’ Roly seemed as taken aback by the question as she was.
‘You sound … fond when you talk about her.’
He frowned, a slow smile curling the corners of his mouth. ‘I dunno. I guess I still have … feelings for her.’
‘Feelings in your pants?’
He rolled his eyes. ‘Shut up! Why do you have to bring everything down to sex?’
She shrugged. ‘Human nature, innit?’ She fluttered her eyelashes, and Roly collapsed in laughter.
‘What about Andrew?’
‘What about him?’
‘Are you still in love with him?’
She considered. It was a question she’d been asking herself a lot lately. ‘I don’t know. I think I could be … in time. Sometimes I wonder if I already am. But then I don’t know if I’m just remembering how I used to feel or if it’s actually how I feel now.’ She frowned. ‘It’s complicated.’
Made even more confusing by the fact that she’d wanted Roly to kiss her just now. Shit! Was she starting to fancy him? She supposed she always had a bit, but it wasn’t something she’d nurtured. She’d never expected anything to happen between them, for a whole variety of reasons, so she hadn’t given it life, let it breathe. She’d put it out of her mind and got on with being friends. But that had been easy when she’d hardly seen him. He hadn’t been a real presence in her life, just an occasional visitor. Now they were together every day, it wouldn’t be so easy to ignore.
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