Page 84 of The Reboot
‘I know it’s crap the way they put it, but—’
‘And it’s not my “new career”. It’s just a job.’
‘There’s no shame in it, even if it was your career. And Ray says really nice things about you. Apparently you’re very reliable, always on time, and not afraid of hard work.’
‘Jesus! I sound like such a dork.’
‘Anyway, don’t worry too much about it. It’s just a little free paper. Who’s going to see it?’
‘Yeah. That’s what I’m counting on.’
But unfortunately, the article got picked up by other papers and media outlets, and was soon plastered all over the internet. It had the desired effect. In the following days there was a steady trickle of young women coming to the cafe to gawp at Roly.
‘I told you it’d bring in business,’ Ray said, rubbing his hands.
When people started tweeting and posting photos of the cafe on Instagram, the trickle turned into a constant stream of twenty-somethings lingering over their chai lattes as they took surreptitious photos of Roly to post on social media or asked him to pose for selfies with them.
Ray was happy at first with the boost in business, even when Roly was too busy taking selfies to make coffee, and Ray had to do it himself. But by the end of the week, there was a queue down the street of young women waiting to get in to see their idol, and Ray realised Roly’s fans were crowding out the regular customers, who were getting fed up and taking their business elsewhere. Furthermore, the coffees they spun out while they chatted up Roly didn’t make up for the loss of the cafe’s regular lunchtime crowd, who weren’t going to spend half their lunch break queuing when there were plenty of other places in the area they could go.
‘I’m a victim of my own success, Roly,’ Ray said to him ruefully as they cleaned up at the end of the week. He’d already removed the article from the window and moved the stack of free papers to the store room. But it was too late – the cat was already out of the bag and couldn’t be stuffed back inside. The publicity machine had taken on a life of its own, and was gathering momentum daily with no help from Ray.
‘Roly, can you come here, please?’ It was the end of the shift the following Friday, and Ray beckoned him into the little room at the back as Roly was turning the sign on the door to ‘Closed’.
Roly looked around in confusion. They hadn’t even started clearing up yet. They always waited until the coffee machine was cleaned, the counter wiped down and the dishwasher loaded before they had tea and their ‘debrief’ in the back room.
‘Don’t worry about cleaning up,’ Ray said.
Roly followed him into the back room and they sat down at the little table. In another break from their usual routine, Ray didn’t make tea, and there was no plate of leftover cakes.
‘You’ve been doing a really good job here, Roly,’ Ray said as soon as they were seated.
‘Thanks.’ Roly wondered was he going to get a raise.
‘But I’m afraid I’m going to have to let you go.’
‘Oh!’ Roly was stunned. ‘But you just said—’
‘It’s not a problem with your work,’ Ray said quickly. ‘You know I’m very happy with you on that front. I wish I could keep you on.’
‘So…’
‘Unfortunately, it’s become too disruptive having you here. All these women who come in to see you—’
‘Um … I thought that was the idea? It’s brought a lot of new customers to the cafe.’
‘It has, it has. But that’s the problem. They’re not spending much, and they’re hogging tables, lingering over a single coffee for hours just so they can ogle you. They’re putting off my regular customers. It’s not good for business.’
‘But – you said it would be great for business.’
‘I know.’ Ray nodded. ‘But you live and learn, Roly. You’ll find that yourself as you go on in business. It’s all trial and error. But we gave it a shot, right?’
‘Um … yeah.’
‘You can’t expect to win them all. The important thing is to learn from your mistakes and move on. That’s my last bit of advice to you – if you want to succeed in business, don’t spend too much time working on the wrong thing, focusing on the wrong idea. Fail fast, cut your losses and pivot quickly to another strategy. Fail fast – remember that.’
‘Right. Thanks.’ Failing fast sounded like something he’d be good at. ‘Well, that’s that, I guess.’ Was it even legal, he wondered, for Ray to fire him for cluttering the cafe up with customers. Not that he wanted to fight him on it, but it didn’t seem right.
‘But don’t worry,’ Ray smiled, brightening. ‘I’m pivoting as we speak, and I think I’ve got the perfect solution!’ He got up from the table and went into the walk-in store cupboard. ‘You’ll be glad to hear I’ve already found your replacement.’ His muffled voice came from the depths of the cupboard. ‘I think he’s the perfect man for the job.’
