Page 31 of A Merry Irish Christmas
‘I never said we didn’t. But the O’Sullivans don’t watch it. It’s… a religious thing. You know, like Amish.’
‘How are they cooking this death-by-spuds dinner then?’
‘Oh, they have electrical appliances and cars and everything. And they wear normal clothes with zippers and all that.’
‘So not Amish at all, then.’
‘I said they’relikeAmish. But theirs is more of a choose-your-own-adventure type of religion.’
‘And the adventure they’ve chosen is no TV? I definitely don’t want to go to their house for Christmas, then. They sound like weirdos.’
‘They’re not weirdos,’ Mary said crossly. ‘They’re lovely. And Carmel is a brilliant cook.’
‘Anyway,E.T.is on tomorrow, and I want to watch it. You don’t have the monopoly on Christmas traditions, you know.’ He sounded like a petulant child.
Damn! She’d gone too far and shot herself in the foot with that one. WatchingE.T.was a Christmas tradition at the O’Sullivans’ too.
‘We can record it.’ She decided to appeal to his sense of decency – if he had any. ‘My mum’s having a bunch of your people over for Christmas. The least you can do is return the favour to one of her family,’ she said, pointing to herself.
He frowned. ‘What do you mean “my people”? I don’t have “people”.’
‘A woman called Magda from your building, and Arnold?—’
His eyebrows shot up. ‘Arnold?’
‘He’s your doorman.’
‘I know who he is, thank you. Your mom’s having them for Christmas dinner? In my apartment?’
‘Yes.’
He shook his head, baffled. ‘Look, you can do whatever you want – go to dinner at the O’Sullivans’, whatever. You don’t need me to tag along.’
‘Oh, but I do. I promised Mum I’d take you. I’d never hear the end of it if I abandoned you on Christmas Day.’
‘Tell her it’s what I want.’
‘She won’t believe that.’
‘How do you know?’
‘I already tried it.’
‘Well, you can lie – say I went to the O’Sullivans’ with you. You don’t want me there anyway.’
‘And you think she won’t find out? Carmel is her best friend. Besides,’ she admitted, ‘I do want you to come. I wouldn’t feel right leaving you on your own here on Christmas Day.’
‘Why does everyone make such a big deal of it? It’sone day.’
‘Exactly. So what’s the big deal about spending it with me? It’ll be fun. The O’Sullivans are really nice and Carmel’s going to so much trouble. She’s already made you a personalised place setting.’
‘So you’ve told her who I am?’ He frowned.
‘Calm down. She knows your name is Evan. Lots of people are called Evan. Look, just come along to the O’Sullivans’, wear a paper hat, pull a few crackers and then I’ll leave you alone, I promise.’
‘You literally promised that last night and you’re already breaking it.’
She shook her head. ‘I promised I wouldn’t put you out if you were on fire. Lucky for you, we haven’t had the chance to test that out yet.’
