Page 70 of A Merry Irish Christmas
‘And Christmas,’ she prompted.
He nodded. ‘Yeah, every year. And I always felt comfortable there. I thought it was fine, you know – that I fit in, that I was like one of the family. That’s how they always made me feel.’ He swallowed hard. ‘Then one year… Taylor and I had just arrived. We were upstairs unpacking our bags. I’d just finished unloading my stuff and I went out on the landing. I was about to head downstairs when I heard his sister and mom talking in the hallway. Even before I heard what they were saying, I knew somehow they were talking about me, and I froze at the top of the stairs. April – that’s his sister – was complaining about having to invite me every year.’ He huffed a laugh, affecting not to care, but pain was etched in every line of his face.
‘She said that surely there was somewhere else I could go; that she’d like to have one Christmas where it was just family. No waifs and strays. No lame ducks.’
‘God, that’s horrible!’
‘Her mom said that April knew very well I didn’t have anywhere else to go and gave her a lecture about the spirit of Christmas and the message of the nativity story. April had played Mary pretty much every year in junior high, so that hit home,’ he said with a laugh, but Mary could see he was still carrying the hurt of it.
‘That’s shitty. April sounds like a right bitch.’
He shrugged. ‘April was a bitch, but I guess she had a point. It wasn’t unreasonable for her to want a family Christmas with no outsiders around.’
‘But you weren’t an outsider. You were like one of the family.’
‘Yeah.’ His smile faded. ‘Except I wasn’t – not really. And I get it. In her shoes, I’d probably have felt the same. People just want to relax at Christmas with the people they’re most comfortable with.’
‘You must be having a lousy time now,’ she said with a laugh.
He grinned and dropped a kiss on her shoulder. ‘You too.’
‘Worst Christmas ever.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘So what happened afterwards?’
‘Nothing. It was the same as always. Everyone was very welcoming and nice to me. April especially – I could see she was making a real effort to be kind.’
‘Ugh, that sucks!’
He laughed, clearly pleased that she got it. ‘Yeah, that was the worst part – the prom queen condescending to the poor little orphan.’
‘But that was just April, and we’ve established that she was a dick. That doesn’t mean anyone else felt the same way.’
‘Maybe they didn’t. But I had no way of knowing, and I didn’t want to take the chance that they were just being polite and I’d be ruining their holidays.’
‘I think you should trust your friends more.’
‘You really think they’d tell me to my face if they’d rather not have me around?’
She shook her head. ‘I don’t think they’d feel that way in the first place. What about Taylor? Did he know why you stopped going to their place for Christmas?’
‘No, I never told him. He still invited me every year, whining that he’d be stuck at home with only his sister for company.’
‘See? He did want you around. It was just his stupid sister who didn’t. Are you still friends?’
‘He moved away for college and he lives in San Francisco now, so we don’t see much of each other these days. But we meet up whenever he’s in town.’
‘Well, you’re welcome to come here for Christmas any year you want,’ she said. ‘And I know the rest of my family would second that if they were here.’
‘Thank you.’
‘I mean it. I’m not just being nice.’
He grinned. ‘Fortunately, I know you’d have no qualms about letting me know if I wasn’t welcome.’
‘What do you mean?’ she asked indignantly.
‘When you first showed up here, you told me in no uncertain terms that you wanted me to leave.’
‘Well, you were being grumpy and mean to me.’
