Page 30 of Crushed
“That’s bullshit. You calledmefor help.”
“Maybe it’s time that you learned the importance of doing something on your own,” she said. “Use this as proof that I’m not always going to be around to help you, so you ought to prepare yourself. So you don’t end up like me.” She looked away, then muttered, “Calling your damn adopted grandchild to nurse you back to health.”
“Not a child,” I said. She narrowed her eyes but I straightened, willing her to argue back. “This is what family is for, isn’t it? Helping each other out. We’re all that we’ve got.”
Sadness crept into her vision, and she blinked back tears.
Damn it.Damn it.
“I’ve got to tell you something,” Lizzy said. She shook her head furiously, as if she could shake away the tears. “Scarlett?”
I steadied myself, counting to ten slowly like she taught me. Don’t show emotion. Pretend as if everything is normal. As if it doesn’t break your heart to see how lonely she is. To know how lonely you both are.
Once I got to ten, I took a subtle breath.
“Yes?” I asked.
“I want you to take over Silent Network Consulting.”
The words hit me like a fist to the chest.
“What?”
“You’re as old as I was when I started it, and I know you can do it,” she said. She looked around. “I don’t know how much time I’ve got, and I—”
“Lizzy, you dropped a dresser on your foot. You’re not dying. It’s not the end of the world.”
“And the pain nearly incapacitated me, Scarlett. Don’t you get it?”
I did get it. I didn’t need to remind myself of any of that.
“You can lead the network from home,” I said. “You wouldn’t even have to leave your bed. You could run it from your laptop, and I can do any face to face meets—”
“Scarlett.”
“And hell, I can finish any last-minute business, errands, all of that, but you can do the planning and the rest of it—”
“Scarlett…”
“And when it comes to any vetting processes, you can do the research, and I’ll do the actual fieldwork—”
“We have to think of the future, Scarlett!”
Her eyes widened, bulging with tired red veins. I stammered, staring at her. Her long hair was in tangles around her head, the wrinkles around her mouth and eyes deeper now, more defined, like the exhaustion was eating away at her more quickly than it ever had before.
But I couldn’t let that happen. I couldn’t think of a world without Lizzy.
“I am thinking of the future,” I said slowly. “Plenty of businesses work from home now.”
“You’re in denial.”
“I’m not. It’s a very realistic option.”
“Scarlett, listen to me.” She grabbed my chin in her hands, her eyes darting back and forth, making sure that I was paying attention. She hadn’t done this since I was eleven years old, when I didn’t want to accept that we were putting the search for what had happened to Mom and Dad on hold. Because I could accept defeat. “You’ve got to do this job on your own. Once Cormac is gone, you’ve got to take over the network for me.” Her nostrils flared, and my throat tightened, that painful itch to cry, or scream. “The network deserves a strong leader, one that will be on top of her game at every moment. They need you, Scarlett. Not me.” She sat up straight. “I have to do what’s right for the network. What’s right for you.”
I shrank out of her grip, then shied against the wall. I crossed my arms.
“How is this right for me?” I whispered.
