Page 50 of Crushed
CHAPTER 16
Cormac
Whether she’s a sobbing mess, or a fluster of insecurities on stage, or a disheveled heap of a woman, post-orgasm, post-life, trying to come to terms with how hard she had given in to her own desires—nothing compared to Scarlett. Her blond hair was in a messy knot at the back of her head. Her lipstick smeared in a rainbow arch across her cheek. A sheen of sweat glistened on her forehead. I moved the hair out of her eyes, remembering the way she had written my name on her forehead, hidden it beneath her hair so she could wear my mark without anyone knowing. What would she write now? Had I conquered her mind? Could she trust me?
She straightened herself, glancing around for her shorts. I grabbed the damp fabric off the floor and handed them to her. She nodded her thanks, unable to say the words aloud just yet. It must have been overwhelming to experience that for the first time. She smoothed the sides of her hair.
“I don’t feel it anymore,” she said. I raised an eyebrow, feigning confusion. “It was so strong while we were having sex, but now, it’s like I can’t feel a thing.”
“That’s because the pill was a placebo.”
She waited for me to explain. But it was simple; I had already told her the truth. I adjusted my clothes, then sat across from her once again. Wiped her juices from my mouth on the back of my hand. My cock throbbed at her taste, but she needed a break. Hell,Ineeded a break. I needed a moment to think before I gave into my desires again, or we would both collapse.
Besides, this was what I had wanted to do all along. A test to see if she would take the pill. Her reaction when she found out its truth.
“You’re lying,” she said.
“The mind is a powerful tool,” I explained. “It can create different sensations on its own, ones you’ve never had before. Add my hands, my tongue,” I squeezed her thigh, and she shifted her chin, “and that’s what happens.”
Anger flashed across her face. “You tricked me?”
“‘Tested’ would be a more accurate word for it.” I removed two bottles of water from the hidden refrigerator and handed her one. She begrudgingly took it. “A way for me to test whether or not I can trust you with the full requirements of total power exchange. Congratulations; you passed.”
She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. My chest tingled with satisfaction. My heart rate was still high, the adrenaline rush coursing through me. I was a smug bastard, but one thing remained: This proved it; Scarlett trusted me.
She softened. “What was the pill, then?”
“Multi-vitamin,” I said. She sucked in a breath. “I own more pharmaceutical manufacturing plants than one human should reasonably own. Asking one of the engineers to create a pill that looks like Ecstasy, but is actually a high dose of vitamins, isn’t out of the question.” She closed her eyes, no doubt trying to reason with herself to be logical, to resume her practiced patience, but her mind was raging, questioning why she felt the way she did.
She had every right to be mad at me. But the fact still remained that it was a vitamin capsule, nothing else. “Even if I had given you a drug, I need you to trust me. Trust that I will care for your well being above all else. I might hurt you. I might drug you. I might do terrible fucking things to you, but I will not let anything destroy you.”
“I just don’t understand why it felt so real,” she said. She looked down at her lap. “I guess I was so worked up I couldn’t tell the difference.”
“And you let go, Scarlett,” I leaned forward, resting my hands on my knees, “Which is exactly what I wanted. I wanted you to be free to do what you desired. To give in to the powerful sensations. To resist the urge to hold back for once.”
Her eyes flashed to mine, that deep, copper brown luminescent. “You think I hold back?”
What an obvious question to answer. “I think you’ve been training yourself since you were a child to be perfect, to always pretend to be something you’re not, even when it comes to your own pleasure.” She looked away, focusing on the back of the room, to avoid admitting the truth through her facial expressions, but I knew better. “No child should have to go through that kind of stress.” She nodded then, slowly to herself. At least we could agree on that. “What was your childhood like?”
“Before, or after?” she asked. Before or after her parents’ deaths.
“After.”
She waited for a few moments, crunching the plastic bottle in her hand, then taking a long, heavy gulp. “Lizzy took care of me,” she said. A small grin escaped as she said the name; she was fond of this person, this Lizzy. I would have to remember that. “Lizzy had always been around since I was a baby, good friends with my parents, but she was the one who took guardianship of me. That kind of love is…” Scarlett thought for a moment, then shrugged. “It’s family. Lizzy is older, but she basically taught me how to survive in a fast-paced world.”
“She taught you to hold back, then.”
“To always be calm, even under pressure.” She sighed. “It has to do with SNC. You can’t blame Lizzy for that.”
“What’s SNC?”
Scarlett blinked hard, a practiced, mechanical blink. “I meant SCN,” she said evenly. “She works for that local broadcasting studio. Sage City Network.”
I narrowed my eyes. Scarlett was hiding something, but I wasn’t going to press it. SNC. I would remember the first acronym she mentioned. It sounded vaguely familiar.
“Did having a guardian in the spotlight take its toll on you?” I asked.
“Lizzy was more behind the scenes. Not on screen,” Scarlett said. “But she worked all of the time. And her job wasn’t the kind of job that you left at the studio. She always came home with work. There was editing to do, research to catch up on. Whatever it was, Lizzy came home with it.”
