Page 68 of Crushed
“I could have had sex with him,” she said. As I walked, I ignored her, and her voice grew louder. “If that’s all it would have taken to get TSP, I would have had sex with him. You didn’t have to—”
I spun around, leering into her. “You seem quite eager to have sex with him.” I motioned towards the study. “Go on. Save his life with your cunt.”
“Fuck you, Cormac.” I turned back around. “You know that it’s not about the sex. It’s about preventing bloodshed like this.”
She was one to talk. How many people had she murdered in the name of preventing bloodshed?
“There was no blood shed,” I muttered.
Her voice grew louder and louder. Once we reached the double doors, I burst through and she followed behind me. I went to the balcony, the sun beaming down between two thick gray clouds.
“You killed an innocent man,” she yelled.
“I would hardly call a man like that innocent,” I said.
“But he didn’t deserve to die.”
“Like I explained before, Scarlett, he got in the way of what I wanted.”
She paced, her hands clutching her sides, then scraping at her face. “You needed the research from TSP, right?” I stayed still, waiting for her to continue. “You could have made a deal about the research he was conducting. It didn’t have to end like this.”
“He gave me no other choice,” I said in a low voice. I stepped closer to her and she stepped backward, back into the bedroom. I stayed on the balcony. The clouds crowded over the sun, covering the sky in a dark shadow. “I need control ineverythingI do. And if you can’t stomach what that means, then I guess I’m not the owner you’re looking for.”
“I was never looking for an owner,” she muttered.
I narrowed my eyes. “I didn’t think so.”
“And I never planned to fall in love with you.”
“Then what did you plan?” My face grew hot and my eyes bore into her. I clenched my fists. I wanted to shake her, to demand the truth from her, but I stayed my ground. I spoke louder, “Give it to me, Scarlett. Give me the fucking truth for once. What did you have planned?”
She shook her head. “Why are you so violent?”
“I’m violent?” I laughed, a cold eerie sound. “I’m not the one who kills people for a living.”
“You have a daughter to think about!” she cried.
Scarlett’s words brought my world to a halt. It seemed as though even the birds and insects stopped humming. A lump caught in her throat too. She swallowed it down, her gaze unwavering from mine.
No one, not even me, had a right to bring Rose into this.
I went to one of the bureaus and unlocked a drawer, grabbing the pistol out of it. I checked if it was loaded. When I turned around, Scarlett was in a fighting stance, a knife in her palm, ready to attack.
I put the gun on the floor. “I know Issac sent you to kill me.” I kicked the gun and it skittered across the floor. “So kill me.”
She gawked at me. “You knew about Issac?”
I walked to the balcony again, keeping my hands raised, to show her that I had no intention of fighting back. I was done with this. I was done pretending.
“Of course I fucking did. I wanted to give you a chance to tell me the truth. To explain your side of the story. But I know where I stand.” I bared my teeth. “If you think what I’ve done is so unforgivable, then do it.” I nodded towards the gun. “Put me out of my misery. But take care of my daughter.” I closed my eyes, then opened them slowly. “You at least owe me that.”
Her eyes watered. “Don’t you get it?” she whispered. “I’m not going to kill you, Cormac.”
“Do it,” I said. She didn’t move. She didn’t even blink. “Do it!” I howled. “Kill me!”
Scarlett ran towards the door. She turned around one last time, and she bit her lip, holding back the tears.
But then she was gone.
I should have chased after her, but I couldn’t. She would never be the property, the partner, the lover that I wanted her to be. The one who I needed.
And I would never be what she needed either.
