Page 64 of Dangerous Silence
“Screw you,” she hissed.
I slapped her face, twice, three times, until she opened up her mouth, and I shoved my fingers into her throat, making her suck off her juices. I couldn’t get used to this—couldn’t let myself. But I plunged the head of my cock deep into her throat because it was the only thing I could do. Because I should have killed her. I should have known that silence beyond this earth would be better for her than suffocating inside of mine. Demi couldn’t see that there was no morality when it came to me. There was only death. I had to teach her that she needed to live her life, go to college like she wanted, make the world a better place. Not drown down here with me.
I pressed her against the wall, forcing her to stay kneeling, then leaned on the wall above her. I fucked her mouth. Her big eyes stared up at me, holding back tears. My stomach dropped, my dick starting to go limp. I should have enjoyed it. Should have licked the tears off of her cheeks. So what was I doing?
You chose the knife.
You choose to enforce. To kill people.
You can still choose the right thing.
Her words hit me because she was right. I had chosen this. All of it. And I had done the one thing I had sworn would never happen: she mattered to me. The Demi from before all of this, and the Demi now. Every part of her mattered.
And I needed to let her go.
I pumped my dick in my hand, staring into those eyes. I had to come, had to force myself to enjoy her pain, but no matter how hard I fucked myself, I couldn’t stay hard. Then she pummeled her fists against me—my shins, my stomach, my thighs—anything she could reach. And I kept fucking myself, watching her do it, the tiny bursts of pressure lighting my nervous system on fire, her violence finally pushing me closer.
Hurt me,I thought.You know I deserve it. You’re better than me. Better than anything I could ever know.
She stood up hastily and pulled at my neck, her lips open, ready to force her tongue inside of my mouth, but I held back. Kissing would be an admission. And I was close, so damn close, to letting her go. She howled with rage in her eyes, and the rejection filled my blood with lightning and I came, shooting my seed on her stomach, her disheveled clothes, getting it on her hands. She growled and kneeled down, sticking out her tongue to lick it all up, but I held the back of her head, not letting her. I loved seeing her like that, desperate for my come. But suddenly she lurched forward and bit me, her teeth grazing the middle of my shaft. My cock still pulsed with come, filling her throat. Her teeth couldn’t stop me.
Then I let go of my grip, letting her find her balance. She shuddered, her eyes focused on my cock, still partly erect, the bruise on the shaft a shade darker red than the rest. She closed her lips, stunned at what she had done.
Once she was on her feet, I fixed my pants. I turned away, going to the sink.
This was nothing. And it always would be.
“Tomorrow, I’ll take you back to the college,” I said over my shoulder. PGU was a few hours away, almost all the way to Brackston, but I would take the drive if it meant that she was safe. Safe from me.
“What?” she asked, her shoulders sinking. “Why?”
“I’ll have a team watching you from afar.” I turned toward the door. There was nothing more to discuss. “They’ll make sure you’re safe.”
She grabbed my hand, whipping me around.
“No,” she said. “That’s not an answer. Why, Axe? Whynow? If that was always an option, then I deserve to know why.”
I stared at her, letting her breathe erratically. My jaw tight, my facial expression never changed. As if this didn’t affect me. As if I didn’t care who she was.
I wanted her to believe that.
“Is it because I’m not good enough for the mafia?” she asked, tilting her head. Good enough for the mafia? That should never have been a goal in her mind. She was too ethical, too righteous, and those words proved how I had ruined her. She needed her view of the world, back to where everything was wrong or right. “Is it because I make you question your morals?” She pushed my chest. “Listen to yourself, Axe. That means you do have moral logic inside of you. You know that what I’m saying bothers you.”
She was panting, her cheeks flushed, her gray eyes pinning me down. There was beauty and rage and lust inside of her, and I wanted so badly to take a hold of it, to twist it until her body convulsed, to never let it go, to know that I would be by her side, guaranteeing her safety.
But these emotions weren’t real. I couldn’t allow myself to feel. And I would never let Demi come before my truth. I would never be the man she needed me to be.
“I’m not you, Demi,” I said quietly. I gestured around the space. Death was always on my side, and one day, it would swallow me too. “This is who I am. Don’t let me kill you too.”
“If you wanted to kill me, you would have done it ages ago.” She tossed her hands up around the room. “Don’t you get it? I’m not the girl I was before Dad died. You changed me, and for once in your life, I want you to admit that you can change too.” She bared her teeth. “My past was full of lies. This is me now.”
“It’s not you,” I growled. “It can never be you.” I wouldn’t let it. “You need to go back. Live your life.”
“I would rather die than go back to that life.”
Those words hung in the air, filling the space. I closed my mouth. Immediately, she clenched her palms, knowing the gravity of what she had said.
I took her by the hair, throwing her back into that small cage. Locked the wooden slats. Turned out the lights, listening to her scream my name as I headed out.
