Page 79 of Dangerous Silence
He stepped forward slowly. I waited until he took the chair again, then I took a few seconds to sit up, wincing at the pain.
“Demi,” Axe said.
“You keep telling me,” I said, squeezing my eyes shut, then opening them again once the pain subsided, “that it’s not safe for me to be around you. And obviously,” I pointed to my swollen face, “That’s true.” He looked away and I grabbed his hand, clenching it tightly. “But I need to do this for myself.” He faced me. “You are who you are. And I am who I am. We can’t force ourselves into boxes that make sense. And right now, all I want isyou, Axe. If you’ll have me.”
He shook his head solemnly. “You don’t know what you’re getting into.”
I lifted a hand toward my bruised face again. “I think I do.”
The corners of his mouth twitched, and then a smile formed—a real, heartfelt smile, that was made for me. He leaned forward, putting a thick hand behind my head, cupping my skull and making me feel safe. The warmth in my stomach coursed up, making it easier to forget the pain because Axe was holding me, and that’s all I wanted. His ear had mostly healed, but part of it was missing. Impulsively, I rubbed my tongue along my teeth, along those bumpy scars, where I was missing flesh too. I rubbed some of the dust on his face away with my thumb, marveling at how intimate each moment was with him. There had been so much that I had felt on his skin—blood from the murders, dirt from the hole, and now debris from a ruined building. It seemed fitting, in a way.
“I love you,” I said.
I waited for the returned gesture of those words, but Axe was silent. He stared at me, at the shape of my lips, probably looking at the bruises on my face. It was hard for him, wasn’t it? To admit something like love. He must have thought it put us both at risk. Or he was afraid of what that meant.
But I realized that I was okay with that. That’s who he was. I wasn’t going to force him to be anyone anymore. Just like he let me be myself, I had to do the same for him. Because I loved him, the real him.
Instead of words, our lips met, but this time, Axe let himself go, closing his eyes, breathing life and fury into that kiss, and I closed my eyes too, relishing in the way his scarred bottom lip felt against mine, wondering if he could feel his scars on my tongue. Our tongues twisted with each other, not fighting one another for once, but working together, figuring this out. One step at a time.
He pulled back, peering deep into my eyes.
“You’re not afraid of me,” he said, almost like a question, as if he was stunned.
“Nope. Never have been.” I smiled weakly. “You’re just a misunderstood ogre.”
“An ogre?” he asked.
I beamed, and he shrugged, letting it drop. One day I would remind him of the first time we met, but for now, I just wanted to enjoy the smiles crossing his face.
Once the doctor discharged me, we headed to the parking garage, Axe pushing me in the wheelchair.
“So Miles Muro is really gone, huh?” I asked. “What was that like?”
“I think you shot him,” he said.
“Really?” I asked, surprised.
“When we were coming out of the building, you shot someone.” He shrugged. “I didn’t see who.”
“Huh.” I thought about it. A flash of a memory came to the surface, but I couldn’t quite place it. Everything had been so blurry, but I did remember shooting at someone, or something. But it seemed fitting, in a way. “I’ll take credit for that.”
He opened the passenger door for me, then carefully helped me stand up. Once I was settled and comfortable to both of our liking, he got into the driver’s seat. He looked in the side-view mirror, then leaned down to adjust it.
“I love you too,” he said, focusing on the mirror, avoiding my gaze. “You know that, right?”
He turned the key and the engine rumbled on. I smiled. I knew that may be one of the only times he would ever admit it, and so I held onto that moment, savoring the petroleum smell of the engine, the patched seats underneath me, the way the moonlight washed over his face as we backed out of the parking space, and made our way out of the hospital’s garage.
“I do,” I said.
He smiled, then put an arm around the back of my seat. For a few seconds, I was afraid to move, to break the moment, to somehow cut it short. As if one small gesture could break the spell and remind him of where we really were. But then I leaned in closer, over the gear shift, and laid my head against his shoulder. Because this wasn’t a spell that would magically break. We didn’t have to worry about that anymore. With a bond like we had, a moment like this wouldn’t be the last time.
When we made it to the Adler House, well into the night, a party was roaring inside, the whole house lit up like a firework. Cars were parked out front in a maze. It almost reminded me of the funeral, but this time, I recognized almost everyone there. Zaid held a glass of amber-colored liquid. Heather had the same drink too, her collar wound tightly around her neck. She smiled and waved at me. Then Maddie grabbed my arm.
“You areinsane,woman!” Maddie laughed. “You stormed the Midnight Miles Headquarters all by yourself?”
“Actually, I was escorted by a corrupt policeman,” I said. “Not as cool as you make it out to be.” I turned to Axe. “What happened to the police anyway?”
“Wil’s getting their info,” he said, gesturing at his brother. “We’ll get rid of them one by one.”
