Page 60 of Dangerous Command
“I don’t know what to do,” she said.
I sat down beside her. When she looked up at me, there was a look that I had never seen before—frustration, guilt, and fear mixed into one vacant stare.
All of the bullshit with her being Muro’s stepchild seemed to fade away. At the basis of it all, she cared for her child, and it didn’t matter what her past was.
And I had affected her kid. He had gotten in trouble and resorted to violence, because of me.
“He’s never been a violent kid before?” I asked.
She shook her head like she didn’t want to admit the truth. But I knew. Mack might have been Miles Muro’s child, but he wasn’t like him at all.
And yet I had made him that way.
“I can’t keep doing this to him,” Maddie said to herself. “It’s bad enough that I’m working for you.”
That was true, but I couldn’t let Maddie go. If she wanted to stay alive, sticking with me was part of the deal.
But Mack was a kid; he didn’t deserve that.
“You were right,” I said.
She sat up, staring at me blankly. “What?”
“You’re his parent. I’m not. And however you handle this situation, that’s your decision.” I hated admitting when I was wrong, but sometimes, in order to be a leader, you had to know when to shut up and own your mistakes. The simple fact was that Maddie was a parent,hisparent, and I wasn’t.
A heavy feeling settled over my chest. How could I fix this?
If Maddie needed distance from my family, then so be it. I would give her as much space as I could. If that meant calling off the security team, so that she, Mack, and Lucy could be free, thenfine.But only because I would still keep an eye on her, making sure she never left my side.
“I’ll call the security off,” I said, “on two conditions.”
She pinched her lips together. “What?”
“You need to hold up your end of the deal.” I grabbed her hand. “We have to kill Muro. Until he dies, I can’t let you out of my sight.”
“Why not?”
I narrowed my eyes. “I’m sure you know why.”
She glanced away for a second, then looked back at me. “The second condition?”
“When this is over, when I’m no longer part of your life and you go back to living in Pebble Gardens, or wherever you end up—” I squeezed her hand, making sure she knew how serious I was, “If you need help, if you need anything at all, you call me.” I stared at her, trying to see the truth, but she only gave me that blank stare. “Listen, Mads. Sometimes, life gives us a shitty hand and we have to suffer through all of the cheating and lying, whether we play by the rules or not. But I’m here. And if you need help oranythingat all, even if you think I’ll hate you for it—” I paused, trying to show her that I meantright now, that if she told me who she really was, right now, I would help, “—I will help you without questioning it.”
“I’m not family,” she said, breaking all of my words in half.
She was right. But for once, that reason didn’t feel like enough to drop her.
I wanted to do the right thing for my family. But I also wanted to do the right thing for her.
I convinced myself that I had to keep her close. I had to keep her alive.Thiswas for my family.
But if that were true, she would already be over a chopping block, saying her final words.
“I don’t care that you’re not family,” I said. It was hard for me to offer help to her when she had kept secrets from me, but somehow, I knew that she was only doing it to protect her son. I couldn’t fault her for that, no matter how hard I tried. She was protecting her family, and that didn’t mean Muro. That meant Mack. Only Mack.
“Let’s get this over with,” she said. “What’s next?”
“Kit,” I said. “He’s in New Mexico.”
