Page 56 of His Brutal Game
But there was nothing that could save us. I gripped her shoulder with one hand, my other palm on the back of her neck. My body tensed.
“Wilder,” she whispered.
I shoved her into the water and she threw me back with more force than I anticipated. I pushed her down again. It would only take a few minutes. But each second dragged on. Why didn’t this seem right? She twisted her torso, jerking away from me, and I fell off, distracted, momentarily letting her gasp for air. Mud streaked cheeks. Her pale lips. They weren’t painted dark today. Like she knew what was coming. That this was it.
I kneeled down, resting my weight on her back, pushing her down. She whimpered and I grabbed her head, ready to do it again. The memory of my father leaning on my mother’s back surfaced. Had he felt anything for her in those moments? Had her death felt right to him? Better than it did for me now?
Was that why he had made me kill her instead?
I wiped my cheek with the back of my hand, smearing dirt on my skin.
“Say goodbye to everything you love,” I said.
“I love you, Wilder,” Maisie whispered.
Coldness washed over me, my skin perspiring at those words.
“I love you,” she said slowly.
There was no mistaking it.
Every heartbeat that shuddered through me reminded me that she was there. That this wasn’t just about me. And it wasn’t just about her. My stomach dropped and I pulled back. Tears streaked her cheeks, mixed with muck and water. If she hadn’t said those three words, it would have been easier.
It would only take a few minutes. A few minutes, and then I would be able to concentrate again. A few minutes and I could forget her.
There was no future.
But I couldn’t let this be her end.
I dropped my grip on her. I had to do something. Had to take a step. Any step.
As long as she was somewhere else. Where nothing would harm her.
I pulled her into my arms. She sobbed but didn’t say a word. I carried her the long way through the pastures, through the trees, so that there was less of a chance that someone would see us. She needed to get off of the property. Away from me. She shivered against me, sniveling. It was manipulative. And still, my stomach sank.
In my house, I put her inside of the bathroom, starting a hot shower. I threw all of her stuff into a bag. An hour later, we were back at the woods surrounding the train tunnel. A duffle bag was in her lap.
I got out of the car, but Maisie stayed in her seat. A blood vessel throbbed in my forehead. I opened her car door, unbuckling her, then pulled her from the seat.
I set her down in the middle of the trees. Her brown eyes were full, asking me everything she couldn’t say, but there was nothing I could do to change this. I wasn’t going to let Sawyer or Forrest kill her. And since I couldn’t do it myself, this was the only choice we had.
“I’ll send a lawyer with the divorce papers,” I said.
Her bottom lip trembled. I looked away. Didn’t she know she was better off without me?
“Don’t come back to Feldman Farms,” I said.
“You can’t do this,” she said, but nothing else came out.
This was our only option.
I turned toward the car.
“Don’t run away,” she shouted. Her voice quivered with nerves. “That’s what I did with my little sister. It never fixes anything.”
I knew that this choice only created more problems for me.
“I’m not trying tofixthis,” I said.
