Page 49 of Broken Surrender
“Dude,” she said. “Cheer up. She’s fine.”
I raised my voice: “It’s my fault.” Corinne scowled, but all I could see when I looked at her was the night when I had ruined everything. When it was no longer about making a life for me and my sister, but trying to give her a place in the world where she wouldn’t be afraid. And now we were here, at the bottom of the barrel, and I was dragging Corinne and Lena down with me. “She almost died.”
Corinne’s eyes probed me. She lifted her chin. “People can survive anything. I’m proof of that.”
My throat tightened. Corinne was resilient, but no one her age should have had to deal with this.
And Lena shouldn’t have had to deal with it either.
I pressed my lips together, balling my fists.Thiswasn’t happening. I wasn’t going to let my sister,orLena,get taken advantage of. I’d destroy everyone if I had to.
Corinne put a hand on my arm. “Des?” she asked. “Are you okay?”
Those words grew heavy inside of me. Despite everything she had been through, Corinne was still spunky and adventurous, waiting for a chance at life. A life that I had ripped from her future, a life that I finally had the chance to give back. But I had lost it. Caring about anyone other than my family made me lose sight of what was important.
“What are you going to do?” Corinne asked.
My muscles tensed. I swallowed. I could do this. It didn’t matter what was happening with Lena.
“See if there’s another way to get my Syndicate membership,” I said.
I went up the stairs, finding Lena finishing up with the doctor. “Give paintball a break,” the doctor said.
Lena and I both nodded, playing along in our silence.
I walked him out, and he gave me instructions that Lena needed to rest and to ice the bruises. I closed and locked the door, swirling around to see Lena following me.
“What?” I asked. I went around her to the kitchen to find ice.
“It’s not your fault that I got hurt,” she said. I grimaced. She thought she could understand, but no matter what happened, she didn’t have the whole picture. And I could never tell her. Not until it was over.
Because itwasmy fault. But I was the only one who could see that.
***
Lena
The next day, Desmond insisted I stay at his house, even though he was occupied by work. That dismissal had bothered me with John, but with Desmond? He was so good to me every other time, that I didn’t mind. He was busy. It wasn’t a big deal.
So instead, I hung out with Corinne. We ordered a ton of books from an online retailer so that Corinne could update her library. We sat in her bedroom—her lying on the bed, and me on the couch—while we read in each other’s company, drinking fruit punch and snacking on pretzels. I even got her set up with an email, linked tomyinfo instead of hers, so that there would be no risk to her. She just wanted to be able to chat whenever I had to leave again.
“Thanks for the books,” she said.
I had so much money and no idea what to do with it. “It’s not a big deal.”
“That’s like a small fortune.” She gestured at the pile of boxes next to her bookshelf.
“You and your brother have your own fortunes.”
“Exactly!” She sat up. “So what’s your deal? How do you know my brother, anyway?”
My eyelid twitched. “I’m your neighbor.”
“Yeah, sure. But Desmond always does something for a reason. So again, what’s up with you two?” She pressed her lips together. “Why you?”
I wrinkled my brows. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Tell me about yourself.”
