Page 61 of Broken Surrender
Was he trying to blame me?
“This isn’t about me. This is about the decisionsyoumade.”
“I know.”
Everything was quiet for a few moments. The air conditioning hummed above us, and a few birds tweeted in the backyard. The ding of a bicycle bell sung in the distance. Opulent Gates continued on because life was perfect here.
At least on the outside.
“What about me?” I whispered. “What about me, Desmond? Did you know I was John’s wife?”
With his back still to me, he shifted away, his chin dipping toward the floor.
My mind raced with those first nights on the balcony when I teased him with skimpy robes, knowing that he was watching me.
He had used John’s name in the Vitamin Boutique, hadn’t he?
“You knew, didn’t you?” I asked. How could I have been so stupid? “What was your plan, huh?” I tilted my head. “Did you plan to seduce me so you could get closer to my husband?” A sob built within me, but I didn’t let it out. “You’re a coward.”
He snapped around. “And you are a lonely, pathetic woman.”
Tears burned in my eyes. It hurt so much. “I know I am,” I said. I crossed my arms over my chest, the tears finally streaming down my cheeks. “You were too scared to face him on your own.”
“I’m not afraid of your husband or you.” He stepped forward, raising his voice, “Trust me,Mrs. Dalton.If I could have avoided this entire mess with you, I would have killed him years ago.” He forced a laugh, his expression maniacal. “It would have been easier. But no. You had to go and take care of him for me. Like the strong woman you think you are.”
Those words stung in my chest, each word like a needle piercing straight through me.
“Say it,” I warned. My eyes burned with tears. I got louder: “Say you wish you had never met me.”
He sneered, his upper lip curled. “I never wanted you, Lena Dalton. You’re right: I just wanted to use you.”
A sob racked through my chest and I wrung my fingers into fists.
“All of this time,” I shook my head, “I knew you were screwed up. Blackmailing me when you should have turned me into the police. Initiating into some twisted society so that you can kill a bigger monster. But you protected me, Desmond. I thought—” I tried to find the words in our blurry world. “I thought I meant something to you.”
He snickered at me. “That was both of our mistakes.”
My head throbbed, the tears hot on my cheeks. My lips quivered, and finally he looked at me, his eyes narrowed and disdainful, like he wanted me to experience every ounce of pain that he could give.
But he didn’t scare me anymore.
“What happens when we’re gone?” I asked, motioning around the room. “When we’re all gone? When I’m gone? What then? You won’t have anything left. You don’t even care about your sister. You’re just using her to make yourself feel better,” I hissed. “But you’re powerless without us, Desmond. You can’t do anything by yourself.”
His brows twitched as he chuckled to himself, his smile strong, like he saw so little in me right then.
“You act like you’re a victim,” he said, malice in his voice. “But you were using me too. You didn’t want me, Lena. You wanted attention.”
I shrank back. Was he right?
Maybe he was. Maybe I was wrong.
Everything swirled around us, swallowing me whole. My voice was meek: “You’re not going to fight for us?”
“What do you want me to say?” His voice was so calm and irritating, it’s like he wouldn’tlethimself feel. Like he didn’t care enough to emote anything.
“It was never about me, was it?” I whispered.
“Never.”
