Page 28 of Broken Discipline
“Come at me!” he shouted, but then a shot rang through the air, his head blown to pieces as the shreds of flesh splattered the ground. Dots of red painted the sea of dirt. Ponytail grabbed me, using my body as a shield. I was in the middle of a drug war.
“Take her!” he shouted. “Take the slut!”
Another shot echoed through the lot, spiking Ponytail in the head. The bullet barely missed me.
Ponytail dropped back against the car, then fell to the ground. I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for the next bullet to take me. But nothing happened. When I opened my eyes, Finn lowered his gun, stowing it in his holster. His glassy blue eyes studied me like he wanted to make sure that I was okay. The bullets must have been huge; there were literal craters in their faces.
“Get in the car,” Finn ordered.
My vision spun, my knees weak. Those were the second and third dead bodies I had seen up close, and only a few days apart. It was unreal.
“What are you going to do about them?” I asked.
“Not your problem,” Finn said. “Get in the car.”
But I could barely move. I had seen three men die, all killed by Finn. The racing stripe on their car was like a smear of blood.
“How did you know where I was?” I asked quietly.
Finn grabbed my shoulders, guiding me to his SUV. Once I was inside, I stayed still, not knowing what to do.
They were going to rape me. But Finn had killed them.
Had he baited me again, or was he actually protecting me this time?
Finn stared at me for a second, and when I didn’t move, he buckled me in, then went around to the driver’s seat. He started the engine.
“Where are we going?” I asked. I almost expected him to say he was taking me to Blister, in Oakmont. But he merged onto the highway, returning to Fairview. He didn’t answer.
Back at the Carter Compound, Tank was already in the driveway, like Finn had always known exactly where I was. It was like he was the master, and I was a puppet, doing exactly what he wanted. His words echoed in my mind:I can control every police department, every politician, every important person across this fucking continent. Your little threats mean nothing to me, Ramona. I own you now.
How far did Finn’s power stretch?
The rest of the day went by in a blur. The kids were their usual selves, so I saw no reason to change my behavior. Finn scared the hell out of me, but he had also proved, once again, that he wasn’t going to let anyone hurt me.
By the time the twins were in bed, I was exhausted from the shock. It was mentally difficult to deal with everything, while somehow still managing to be a mother. Bathing the twins. Luring Larkin into eating vegetables. Convincing Leon to use his kitchentoys,and not the real ones from Finn’s kitchen. Finn hovered like a shadow, always watching us, but when the twins invited him to story time, he stayed away, giving us distance. I didn’t know how to read him.
Once I closed the nursery door, I found Finn in the barroom, fixing himself a drink. I had been hunting for my own nightcap to unwind, and had expected him to be wherever Carter Care took him that night. My skin flushed as our eyes met, and he lifted his glass, acknowledging me. The hints of gray near his pupils blazed like wisps of a cloud in a clear sky. He reminded me of lying in the grass, staring up at the sky, something I had done back in Oakmont.
“What are you drinking?” I asked shyly.
“Whiskey,” he said. He grabbed another glass. “What’s your poison?”
I preferred wine, but for some reason, I didn’t say that. I wanted to be closer to him, to show that I was grateful for everything he had done so far, even if it scared me. And maybe part of that was trying to put myself in his shoes, even if it was in this small, insignificant way. I wanted to understand him.
“I’ll have what you’re having,” I said.
We clinked our glasses and took sips. A large open window gave a view of the brightly lit green grass, freshly manicured, as if it never had the chance to grow. It was one of the few windows in the house, and it made me feel like an outsider peeking into Finn’s life. The Carter Compound was a lonely, gray fortress, a shield capable of protecting everyone inside, including Finn. His blue eyes locked on me, like a beam of light in the darkness. I braced myself. I never knew what to expect with him.
“Why didn’t you call me about the drug dealer?” he asked quietly. There was a softness to his tone, like it made him bitter, or even sad, that I hadn’t asked him for help. I found myself shaking my head slightly, because I didn’t know. He had sedated me, imprisoned me, and threatened me with blackmail, but that wasn’t the reason I hadn’t called him. I never calledanyonefor help. Was it part of my childhood? Watching my mother pretend everything was fine, then ditch me for good when I turned seventeen? Was it the fact that my dad had died when I was a baby? Or was it the fact that I was just as guilty of abandoning others? I had deserted my entire life in Oakmont without a second thought, ditching everyone I knew, everyone I loved.
Love wasn’t permanent. Love never guaranteed anything. You couldn’t rely on anyone but yourself.
“I don’t ask anyone for help,” I said, the words coming out more agitated than I intended.
He sighed deeply, then rubbed his forehead. Finally, he faced me. “I’m on your side, Ramona.”
I took a deep breath, meeting his eyes. This was getting way too serious for me, like we had this untapped history in our past lives that I didn’t want to get into right then. Or maybe I wanted to change the subject because it made me uncomfortable that I believed him. Maybe he was telling the truth. Maybe hewason my side.
