Page 61 of Broken Discipline
Finn grabbed her hand. “Whoa. Not while it’s on. You still want your fingers, right?” he said. She shrank behind her shoulders. He switched off the mixer, and she dipped her finger in eagerly.
And that’s when I noticed tiny globs of batter on the cupboards. Had they had a food fight too?
“Yep. We went there,” Finn said, reading my mind.
“Daddy started it,” Leon said.
“Yeah, butwefinished it,” Larkin added.
The thought of the three of them playing like that made me smile. Finn was so stiff when it came to everything and everyone else, but when it came to the twins, it was like he melted down into a kid for them.
And he was like that with me too, but in a different way. Even when he was brutal, he was softer when it came to me.
“What kind of cake?” I asked.
Leon opened his mouth, but Larkin answered the question: “Chocolate with a dark chocolate butter frosting.”
“Buttercreamfrosting,” Leon corrected.
Finn gawked at them. “They remembered. How? I read the title of the recipe once.”
“Of course they remembered,” I said, smiling at him. “It’s chocolate.”
Once they finished up, the kids went to the playroom and I invited myself into the kitchen, washing the dishes. Finn dried the tools and put them away, and for a few minutes, we worked in a comfortable silence like that, like we had been doing this for years. A black shirt hugged his firm chest, and the messy hair on the top of his head begged for my fingers. Warmth tingled through my arms; I was relaxed around Finn.
And it confused the hell out of me.
After the dishes were washed and put away, Finn and I waited in the dining room next to the kitchen. He put an arm around my shoulder, firm and dominant, like a piece of armor, then he kissed me deeply. His fists gripped the edges of the robe, and he pulled me closer to him. I sank into his touch, trying to let go. But a nagging question stopped me.
I pulled back, and he stopped, locking eyes with me.
“I don’t get it,” I whispered.
“Get what?” he asked, his brows stern.
“All of this.” I straightened myself and motioned around us. “You have so much.” I gestured at the gray walls of the Compound, the flour and sugar covering his clothes, the shadow of the guards waiting outside of the building. “You have money. A company. The stability to do anything you want. I’m just some stupid, poor girl from Oakmont who is grasping for a lifesaver, and that used to be Bruce. But this—” I shook my head, unsure of how to explain it all, “—thisis way more than a lifesaver. It’s everything.”
His eyes focused on me. There was curiosity there, like he was trying to figure me out. And Iwantedhim to understand me. He already saw everything else when it came to my past; why not this too?
“Syndicate rules dictate that you’re supposed to forget that part of your life,” he said.
“But who could really forget?” I asked. My hands trembled as the memories rushed back. “My kids aren’t supposed to grow up in a home like this. We belong in a manufactured home or living above a bikini bar. I never, not in a million years, thought we would have this. Or that we would have someone likeyou.” I squeezed his hand quickly, then pulled my hands back into my lap. “We have you. A man we can trust.” Finn tilted his head at those words, his jaw taut. “But none of this makes sense. You could have anyone, Finn. Any woman would be lucky to have you. So why me?”
He stared at me, and I pleaded he would give me a real answer. That everything would shift into place and it would finally make sense.
“You’re not stupid, Ramona,” he said firmly. “Nor are you poor.”
“I’m no longer poor because of you,” I said.
“You’re a survivor. A protector. A mother. A wife.” He pulled my hands into his lap. “My wife.” His blue eyes held me down, filling me with a comforting weight. “There’s never been anyone else, but you. I’ve always wanted you.”
I stumbled over those words. “Did you say, ‘always’?” I whispered.
“Always.”
“But,” I stuttered, shaking my head. “But we only met at that Masquerade a few years ago. When you made a deal with Bruce to spend time with me. I know you were around, but ‘always’ means—
“What do you think this is all for?” he asked.
