Page 54 of Go Deep (A Bad Boy Sports Romance)
21
Cassidy
After Shawn droppedthe bomb on us all, Miranda and I left the Clark house. I had to get out of there, and Miranda was smart enough to know there’d be way less tension at my place, which was conveniently short on testosterone this weekend.
Avoidance was my new friend. I stayed away from both brothers all day Friday and Saturday. I needed time to process what Shawn had blurted out in the heat of the moment. I had so many questions. Was it true? How long had Shawn been feeling this way? Why hadn’t he told me? Did Slade know? What was this going to do to our friendship? What did it mean for me and Slade?
Slade was predictable, so I knew for sure what he’d say. He would tell his brother to chill out and back off.
I thought back over all the time we spent together growing up. We’d been best friends for our whole lives. He had his girlfriends, and I had a few boyfriends, and he never once seemed jealous or anything. We were never more than friends. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. This couldn’t happen like this, losing my best friend over his brother. I drifted through Friday and Saturday, ultimately avoiding even my family and Miranda as I tried to figure everything out. I locked myself in my bedroom, surrounded by pictures of the two of us. Everywhere I looked, it was Shawn and Cassidy. We were inseparable.
Maybe I needed to ditch Slade so that we could remain friends. I was really into him, but Shawn and I, I didn’t want to ever lose that.
I was so torn.
It was one of those situations where I knew I couldn’t have my cake and eat it, too, but I had to try because they were both worth fighting for.
Saturday night came, and I knew it was time to do something. Shawn would take a flight back to Boston Sunday evening, and the three of us would drive back to campus Sunday night. I decided to go over there Sunday afternoon before he left to try to talk to him. I would put it off as long as possible to make it easier. That way, if things didn’t go well, there wouldn’t be another dog fight. And I felt that way because I didn’t expect things to go well.
After lunch on Sunday, I excused myself from the table and headed over. I didn’t walk in like I usually did. I knocked on the door.
Slade answered. “Hey.”
“Hi Slade. Can I talk to Shawn?”
“I’ll get him. You want to come in?”
“No, I’ll wait for him out here.”
“Yeah, give me a second.” He disappeared, and I could hear him climb the stairs to get his brother.
It was just like when we were kids, and I would come over to drag Shawn out to play in the yard or bike up and down the street. Except we weren’t playing today. Today’s business was pretty serious.
A few moments later, Shawn stepped outside. “I didn’t think I’d see you before I left.”
“I almost didn’t come over. Can we take a walk?’
“Okay.”
We strolled to the end of our street and took a trail we’d been on countless times. It was a shortcut to our high school. Today the weather put on a show to match what was going on for the three of us. It was a gray, overcast afternoon with a hint of the coming winter in the air. A hint of the end of something.
Once we were away from view, I turned to him. “I’m really sorry if I hurt you, Shawn.”
“Me, too.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was going to when we saw each other next…well…that didn’t happen. I got run over by my brother, that’s why.”
“Come on. Don’t be like that. You know I love you…I’ve always loved you, Shawn. You’re my best friend. I don’t want to lose our friendship over this. Not hearing from you these last few weeks was torture.”
He started pacing through the high grass on the side of the trail. “I know. For me too, but it was even worse.” It broke my heart to see him so beaten down by this.
“Listen, I want us to get back to how we were. I don’t want that to change. I…well, I need you, Shawn.”
“Just tell me one thing.”
“Sure, anything.”
