Page 42 of Hollywood Undercover
Chapter 18
ALEXANDRA looked into her closet,staring at a rack crammed with guy gear. It was missing the splash of bright colors and variety of fashion options she had when she could choose from her usual wardrobe of clothes for women. She didn’t know how men did it. It wasn’t any easier with shoes. As Lexxi Rock, she had a separate walk-in closet just for shoes, but as Alex, all she had at her disposal were loafers, sneakers, and flip-flops. It was her first chance to get dressed up and go out on the town. Nothing leapt out at her—probably because what she really wanted to wear was a sexy little outfit and some hot ass heels. She pulled down an uninspired black blazer with white cuffs that matched a casual pair ofslacks.
It was a few hours before the bigdate.She was so nervous, she was tempted to cancel half a dozen times. She hated feeling so amped up and antsy. That nervous energy took her up and down the stairs. She alternated between checking on her father, trying to watch TV, and pacing in her bedroom. Daddy gave her a good-natured reminder that nothing had changed from the time she checked in on him before. She took the hint. She left him to work on the laptop he had her drag down from hisoffice.
She was left to face it now, and the fear overtook her. She shut herself in her bedroom, eyeing the date night outfit laid out on herbed.
“That’s it. I’m not going,” she muttered out of the blue. She shook her head and started shoving the clothes back in the closet. “I don’t have to go. It would be crazy togo!”
It took a firm texting session from Eva to put her back on track. Eva’s text read,“What’s the worst that canhappen?”
Alexandra could think of a slew of worst case scenarios for the evening. All she had been thinking about was what could gowrong.
What if I say or do the wrong thing around Bash or the other people aroundus?
What if someone recognized me, or worse, I give myselfaway?
It was one thing to play-act in front of one or two people at a time. With a crowd, so much could happen. She could see herself tripping up, and somehow the façade would come crashing down. If it made its way to the media in convenient YouTube viral video format,thatwas the worst that couldhappen.
“Some chick could totally grab my junk,”she textedback.
Evangeline sent her a row of laughing emoticons. Alexandra replied with, “This could be my one chance to find out if Bash is really gay or not. I’m not even sure I want toknow.”
“Why not?”she messaged back.“Afraid it’ll land him some othergirl?”
Evangeline was getting a kick out of this. It was exactly the kind of drama that made her world have meaning. Alexandra wasn’t laughing at all. Her stomach was in knots, her palms were sweaty and she wished she hadn’t saidyes.
She had no business feeling the tinge of jealousy that shot through her at the thought of other women hitting on Bash. No right to feel a heat that rose up in her at the thought of what he would look like all dressed up. She certainly shouldn’t have been wishing they were going out on a real date. She had no claim to this man, and itsucked.
“Ugghhh. My life,” she groaned. She couldn’t turn off the attraction that kept bubbling up. Something had to give. When Sebastian didn’t visit, she missed him; when he was around, she wished he would leave and stop temptingher.
Evangeline sent her a“What’s going on”reminder, with a string of question marks and exclamation points for emphasis. She jumped into bed and decided to call her instead of texting. When Evangeline picked up, Alexandra launched right intoit.
“I’m not jealous, Eva. That would imply I like him, and honestly I don’t know how to feel about him, Eva. He’s just so fucking sexy! I’m frustrated with the whole thing. It’s distracting. I can’t lie. I’m definitely attracted tohim.”
“So what are you going to do?” sheasked.
“It’s maddening to meet a guy that has me as interested as I am with Bash, and I can’t do anything about it. I actually like being around him. He sets me at ease, and it feels so good just being myself with him. Well, almost myself. I can’t stop thinking about him, yet I can’t enjoy him. At this point, I’m past the idea of remaining single for the sake of remaining single. I’m not thinking of a long-term, committed relationship either. I’mthinking…
“Sex?” Eva said, finishing hersentence.
“God, am I thatobvious?”
“Of course youare.”
“You know I’m not usually this…primal. I’m not, but okay Eva. Yes, I’m thinking sex—withBash.”
“Sounds like the right move, darling,” she shouted. “It’s exactly what you need right now. Think cheesecake, and simply indulge. You know I would, if it wereme.”
“I’ve been dressed as a guy all this time, Eva. And have you forgotten he might begay?”
“There’s a simple way to findout.”
“Yes?How?”
“Tell him you’re not a dude and try to jump his bones,” she said. “If he lets you, you’ll know. If he doesn’t, you’ll still get to grope hisgoodies.”
“Eva you’reincorrigible.”
