Page 61 of Hollywood Undercover
He cleared his throat and started eating. “I never said you needed a man to make you happy,” hegrumbled.
Rosa looked back and forth from Dad to Alexandra. She placed her hand on top of his. “Alexandra, I think your father is trying to tell you he’d like to keep you home while he has you. Like I told you earlier, we don’t want you to feel like we’re forcing you to leave. What’s the harm in continuing your friendship with Bash a little longer while you’re here? Can’t the albumwait?”
It could. She and Bash could become closer as friends. Feelings could get hurt, hearts could get broken. “I don’t think it can wait any longer, Rosa. Rick has been on me for daysnow.”
“Is he strong-arming you?” her father asked,concerned.
“Rick is just being Rick. I understand where he’s coming from. The longer I’m away, the less interested fans and the media will be. I’ve been very selfish lately. Rick has put a lot of effort into keeping things afloat while I’ve been here. Listen, don’t worry about me when it comes to finding love. When it’s my time, there won’t be anything than can stop me and the man of my dreams from beingtogether.”
“Oh, but there is,” Dad said, pointing right at her. “I didn’t think I raised a coward, isall.”
“Why would you say that?” Her back was upnow.
“Deep down, you already know you have to be honest with Sebastian about what’s going on. You can’t leave him in the dark about your ‘Alex Roberts’ shenanigans. He might surprise you when you tell him the truth, but you’re too chicken to find out…or too irresponsible to reap what you sow. Either way, you’re taking the easy way out, running away like this.” His face softened. “Don’t look so offended, Alexandra. Someone has to dish out the tough love. That’s my job. Look, if you consider him a friend, as you say, he deserves to hear from you why you kept up thisact.”
She chewed on her lower lip, accepting the less than gentle reprimand. Dad was right about telling Bash. She couldn’t leave without telling him Alex Roberts was really LexxiRock.
“You’re right. I’ll tell him, Dad. First thing in themorning.”
Satisfied with her response, they finally turned the conversation to other subjects. She picked at the meal with barely any awareness of the taste, pushing away her almost untouched plate after Rosa and Dad were finishedeating.
She stuck around long enough to help Rosa clear the table, and loaded the dishwasher before taking the card table back to thebasement.
“I think I’m going to turn in early, youguys.”
“I have to go as well,” Rosa replied. “I have to leave early in the morning to deliver some papers for your father. I probably won’t be back in the city until aroundnoon.”
“Thanks for making dinner, Rosa. Drive safely.” She turned to her father. “By the way, Dad, the nurse called. She’ll be here in a few to set up the antibiotic drip. You only have another week of this togo.”
“It’s one step closer to being out of this bed.” Dad winked at her. “Goodnight,chickadee.”
“Goodnight, both ofyou.”
* * *
After shedding her clothes,Alexandra did something she hadn’t done in a while. She stood in front of the full length mirror in her bedroom. She examined herself in the silk pajama top she wore to bed instead of her usual pajamas. LA was such a body-conscious place, femininity had been something she could never take for granted. With such a focus on appearance, there would always be someone more womanly, stunning, sexy, gorgeous, or curvy around the next corner. Other than her purple hair to define her, she had never bothered to compete. Now, with the role she chose to play over the past few weeks, she saw it now, and something more. She was more than her gender, her sexuality, her profession, or herwealth.
That part of her was AlexRoberts.
She couldn’t remove the character as easily as she had shed Lexxi Rock. Alex Roberts, without the clothes, was who she really was. For Lexxi Rock, all she had to do was cut her hair. Now she really only had one person to stop fooling. Confessing to him would be thehardest.
She wondered what Sebastian would think of her like this. Would he recognize the mix of Lexxi and Alex? The playful tomboy who wasn’t always self-assured, who sometimes wanted to hide away from the world? Would he get the part of her that did love the spotlight? Alone in her room, she could admit to being a coward. It was easier to keep things the way they were with Bash. She didn’t have to worry about his feelings—or her own. Friendships were simpler. Relationships wereclumsy.
Her chest rose and fell as she took in a deep breath. She noticed the gentle slope of her breasts underneath the sheer dark blue silk top, trimmed with lace. Her waist tapered in from narrow hips, and beneath the hem of the top, her thighs were slender and muscular from regular jogging. That was something she couldn’t wait to get back to—her privategym.
She rifled her hands through her hair, which was longer now, falling around her face. Turning her face side to side, she imagined how he would see her. She moved away from the mirror to the window, drawn to him across the space between their houses. Earlier, she wanted to tell Bash she would miss him. She didn’t say it, to spare his feelings. Now, it was clear she was just protecting herself from being hurtagain.
She gazed out the window. It was settled. This was the countdown—the countdown to goodbye, the countdown to telling him who she really was. She would tell him in themorning.
“No sense in waiting to the lastminute.”
She pushed her hair back and crawled into bed. It was late. Rosa had already left. The nurse had arrived, and Dad had received his meds. He was sleeping. She was the only one up, and she needed to get her rest too, because she had something important to do in themorning.
I’m going to be honest withBash.
I’m going to tell him I’m LexxiRock.
