Page 15 of Reckless
“I don’t think…Gage, I know your mom is probably only trying to help you—”
He pointed his finger at my face. “No! Don’t you dare stick up for her. She’s the one in the wrong here.”
His wild eyes dared me to argue, and my chest burned, the words I wanted to say rumbling up my throat before I realized this man was a stranger. Once upon a time, I would’ve known exactly what to say to calm him down. The words would’ve come naturally to me, but that was back when I knew Gage Strickland as well as I knew myself.
Before.
Now, I didn’t know anything about him. I didn’t exactly try to keep up with him in the media, but it was unavoidable. Especially in New Hope, where everyone was so proud of their hometown legend. But the man in the media wasn’t the boy I knew.
“I’m sorry…sorry that all of this has happened…”
I tried to touch him again since I knew that a human touch at a time like this was a balm, even if it backfired on me. But he pulled away quickly. It seemed he couldn’t stand me touching him at all.
“Why, Kelly?” Tears welled again, making the green in his eyes gleam like freshly dewed grass. “Why didn’t she get help? Why did she have to be so stubborn and wait until the last minute? Now it’s too late.”
“I wish I had an answer for you. I’m just so sorry about it.” I stepped back because, suddenly, I couldn’t stand to have him so close to me. But I couldn’t bear to leave his presence. “Do you want to come for a walk with me? There’s a really nice garden area outside.”
He met my gaze. “Don’t you have work to do?”
There was such a desperation in his eyes, I wouldn’t have been able to ignore it even if I was the unfeeling shell of a person I’d tried to become after that day. Plus, Millie’d made it clear that my fellow employees wanted me to calm him down. I could take time out for that.
“It’s fine, don’t worry about that.” I held out my arm to him, offering a hoop for him to link his through when it hit me…that was something we used to do way back when. It wasn’t really appropriate now. He was the family member of a patient and I, the nurse. I let my arm drop and gestured toward the exit instead.
“You okay?” Millie mouthed at me as we walked past the nurses’ station. I nodded and gave her a thumbs-up signal behind my back.
“Least the sun’s out,” Gage grumbled, kicking a stray stone along the ground as we made our way between the winter ravaged bushes that lined the path.
“Yeah, it’ll be warming up soon.” I didn’t know what else to say. Our conversation remained stilted, the atmosphere dripping with awkwardness. Every moment we hadn’t been in one another’s lives seemed to swim uncomfortably around us.
“I’m sorry, Kelly.” His shoulders slumped forward. “I just don’t know how to deal with it.”
I gave a half laugh. “Trust me. I get it.”
He darted his eyes sideways at me. “I shouldn’t be so selfish. I know I’m not the only person to go through this.”
It was so hard not to reach out to him. “It just feels so much more devastating when it’s happening to you, rather than someone else.”
“Yeah. It does.” He filled his lungs with air. “My mom is…well, you know what she’s like. Always so full of life. It’s hard to think that this will k-kill her.” He swallowed so hard, I heard his throat click. “I can’t imagine anything taking her down.”
A million false promises filled my mind, but I refused to let any of them out. I couldn’t tell Gage she might pull through because, if she didn’t, he’d hate me. I’d made that mistake once before, not long after I first got this job. Wanting to help, I told a woman her partner might come through, but he didn’t, and the woman’s agonizing screams were mostly directed at me. She didn’t mean to act that way, grief got the better of her, but the stress that put on me was too much. For a while, it’d made me question whether I was right for this job.
“You know your mom is strong. She’ll tackle this like she does everything else.”
“Yeah, she’s strong.” He rubbed a hand over his face.
His vulnerability shone through and showed me a side of Gage not portrayed in the news. He was afraid he wouldn’t be able to cope. The raunchy articles in the tabloids portrayed Gage as an arrogant, cocky man who loved to drink and have a good time with a supermodel or actress on his arm. For a second, my heart hoped that the fact that he’d let down his guard like this with me meant something.
It doesn’t mean anything, I told myself.It can’t mean anything. This will be over, and he’ll leave, and you’ll be alone.
“You’re strong too. You’re stronger than you think, Gage.”
He let out a laugh, but there wasn’t much mirth in it. “I’m not too sure about that but thank you. That means a lot coming from you.”
“It does?” came out before I could stop it.
Gage didn’t answer. Instead, he found a bench and took a seat, leaving enough space for me. As I sat near him, my arm brushed his leather jacket, and it was as if a flame flared, burning in the space between us. I sizzled all over, my head spinning from the vibration buzzing in the air around us. I wondered if Gage could sense it too. God, how could I feel this way when his mom was so ill? Talk about inappropriate!
“What can I do, Kelly?” He tilted his face toward the sky, and his eyes slid closed. “How can I help Mom? What can I do for her? I hate this feeling, I feel so helpless.”
