Page 55 of Reckless
“Youthink, you don’t know. That’s the problem. Kelly might not want to leave.”
“She must want more…”
“She stays to look after her mom, whether her mom actually needs her to or not. Kelly and I have discussed that. Actually, her mother and I have too. Don’t breathe a word to Kelly, but her mother has herself a boyfriend, and she’s been terrified to tell her daughter for fear of how she’ll react. She’s let her do all these things for her because she thought it filled Kelly’s life. When what it’s really done is hold her back.”
I rolled my eyes. Leave it to Mom to work out the situation behind the scenes and get ahead of the plans. “Mom, even if all that is true, Kelly might be too afraid to leave her. The woman already lost Hank and Stephen.”
“Don’t stress about the details. Details have a way of working themselves out. She’s perfect for you, she grounds you. I think you need her more now than ever before. I wouldmuchrather see you with Kelly than any of those other women.” Mom wrinkled her nose at the mention ofother women.
I sighed and stuck my hands in my pockets. There was no way to turn back Babs once she had her sights set.
“I don’t want to upset you,” she continued, “I’m just trying to make you think about someone other than just you. I know you, Gage. You have a tendency to go with something and never turn back. I just think you need to turn back now.”
“You’re just trying to play matchmaker and are using your current state of affairs as leverage.” I cocked one eyebrow up at her, and she gave me her most innocent smile.
But I was struck by her words, mostly because I thought maybe she was right. Perhaps I had gotten a little carried away with my plans. Before, I left New Hope behind and dove into the rock star lifestyle, despite my love for Kelly, burying my broken heart beneath it all. Now, I wasn’t even sure if she would take another chance on me. Not only because of our past, but because now, she’d gotten a glimpse of the fishbowl I lived in. Her life would never be the same, never be her own, if she went away with me.
But…it wouldn’t hurt to talk to her. If she didn’t want to come with me, I needed to give her the choice.
“I’ll think about what you’ve said.”
Since that day she literally bumped into me in the ER, I’d gotten so caught up in how I felt, so lost in the emotions dangerously close to love. And I’d used it to avoid the inevitable end to the bubble we were currently in. I wouldn’t doubt for a second if Kelly knew that. Shit.
“Just have a talk with her, son. That’s all you can do, see what she wants to do.”
“What if she says no?”
“Oh, don’t sound so forlorn.” Mom rubbed my arm. “I can see that Kelly has strong feelings for you as well. I know it’s pretty scary, but there aren’t any guarantees with anyone. All you can do is try.”
I stared at her as she said that. There seemed to be more than just the subject of me and Kelly hidden beneath her words. I wasn’t sure what but had a feeling we were about to dive into something very different.
“Is there something else, Mom?”
“I know we never talk about your dad…” With so much effort it made me hurt for her, she leaned over, opened the bedside table drawer, and extracted an envelope that had my name written on it and laid it on her lap.
Every single muscle in my body went stiff. “And we don’t need to talk about him now.”
“Well, it seems like now is the time.”
“I don’t want to talk about him. Especially now.”
“You think he was a bad person—”
“Hewasa bad person. What sort of man walks out on a child? Before they’re even born?”
“I agree with you there. You know I don’t have a horribly high opinion of him either, but I need to know that, when I’m gone, you’ll at least know his identity. Would you just take this,” she waved the envelope, “and I’ll know that—”
“I don’t want to know.” My hands balled into fists by my sides. The lavender sure as hell wasn’t working now. Any sense of calm I’d had disintegrated. “I’m sure you have his information all neat and tidy in that envelope, but I…don’t…want…it. I know you might think one day I’ll want to look him up and expand my family, but I don’t, Mom. I have you, I’ve always had you, and that’s enough. You’ve always been better than two parents, and I’m never going to want more.”
Through the silence that followed, I half expected her to push some more, but thankfully, she sensed that topic was long dead. I could be as stubborn as her, and she knew it. If I hadn’t changed my mind by this point, it wouldn’t ever happen.
She glared at me and slipped the envelope under her blanket. “We have had a good time, haven’t we?”
“Oh, Mom, we’ve had the best time.” I sank back in my chair, willing the tears to stay in their damned tear ducts where they belonged. “Do you remember when I climbed the big oak tree in the backyard…”
“Even though I told you not to!”
“I know, and I fell, just like you said I would. And my friend ran off because he thought I’d end up getting yelled at. But instead, you pretended to be a nurse while you fixed me up.”
