Page 58 of Reckless
I discretely rolled my eyes.
“Oh, maybe we could do something about that.” Mom’s eyes widened when she caught myshut up nowlook.
I didn’t know if she remembered what had transpired between Gage and me before. Anything that happened in thebeforetime was blurry to her.
Babs gripped my hand tighter. “Yes, Marie, we need to discuss how we can get them together.”
“I’m sure…” Mom glanced at me again, thinking better of having that conversation at the last moment. “I’m sure they’ll work it out if—”
“If and when! Ha!” Babs’s head came up off her pillow. “If we let them work it out, they’ll be old and gray before they even get around to talking about it.”
Mom paled. “Really, Babs. I—”
I jumped in. “Our lives went in different directions. Just one of those things.”
Babs squeezed my hand, giving me a tentative smile. It was one thing to imagine giving up everything and running off to travel with my first—only—love, but there were too many reasons that couldn’t happen. I wanted to chase my heart’s desires, but was too scared, too firmly entrenched here to do so.
How could I ever tell Mom that I wanted to go and chase them?
Her lips pressed together, Babs turned to Mom and said, “You must tell her. The girl is going to spend her entire life here…taking care of you.”
Mom’s eyes flew wider than before, and her mouth fell open. “Babs!”
“It’s not fair, Marie!” Babs coughed into a tissue.
“Tell me what?” I frowned, confused. For all the world, Babs looked like she was about to spill a secret, and Mom looked like she was holding on to it with both hands and her teeth. Interesting. I hadn’t seen Mom so expressive in years.
“It’s not fair to keep her here, let her live a small life when you know she had bigger dreams. How can she be a writer if she’s never seen anything but this town? Tell her or I will.”
Mom’s lips flapped open and then shut a few times. I could almost see her thoughts whirling, watch them settle. She turned to me with a look on her face that I hadn’t seen since thebeforetimes, one that told me she was about to impart some adult information on me and she was truly sorry.
“I-I…” her mouth opened and shut again.
“Mom, you’re scaring me.”
“Oh, for crap’s sake! Do I have to do everything?” Babs shouted as loud as she could manage.
“I’m sorry! At first, I truly was a mess.” Babs glared at Mom. “I was! I barely remember after the accident.” She turned to me. “If you hadn’t been there, Kelly, I’m sure I wouldn’t have made it through.”
I nodded encouragement.
She continued, “Then I got used to you doing things for me. The grocery, taking the car to be serviced. Pretty soon, it was likeyouwere depending onmeto fill up the hole left in your life too. And I couldn’t tell you to stop, because then you might have gone away too.” Her eyes flooded with tears and spilled over.
“What? Why would I have stopped helping you? Mom?”
Mom looked desperately at Babs, and Babs pinned her with a look and whispered, “Set her free, darling.”
I swallowed and stood, not sure I wanted to be set free. I was needed here, had a purpose here.
“I haven’t needed you to do all these things for me for a while, honey. I let you think I did. Let you think I was dependent on you. I think, at first, it helped us both through. But you seemed to need it, then you went to school to become an RN. I know you like nursing, but it’s not what you’d always wanted to do. And I still didn’t stop it, because I’m selfish. I’m just selfish, and now I’ve ruined your life.” Mom burst into tears, yanking several tissues from the box Babs held up. “I’m sorry!”
“Tell her the other thing,” Babs encouraged after patting my mother on the shoulder several times.
“And I have a man friend!” burst from my mom’s mouth.
“What?!” My knees almost buckled as I tried to align this confession with the woman I knew. The one who needed help deciding whether to get Cream of Wheat or oatmeal. A boyfriend?
What the hell?
