Page 62 of Reckless
He pulled his cell phone from his pocket. “I don’t want to have to call Ron, but I might have to. He said we need to inform him if you start going too far over the edge, and I’m worried.”
“Over the edge?” I scoffed, knowing he was bluffing about calling Ron. “You don’t need to worry about me, I’m fine.”
“Gage, we all know that isn’t the truth. Even you do.”
Something inside me nearly caved at his words. But at the last second, I was able to hold up my concrete walls once more.
“Fuck off, Ben. You can go if you want, but I’m staying. And don’t you dare call Ron.”
“Gage, I’ll have to.”
Rage hit me like a living thing, and I couldn’t hold it in. I slammed my hands on his chest and pushed him against the wall, pinning him with my arm across his chest. “You do, and we’re no longer friends.”
I locked gazes with him, and when I was sure he’d taken me seriously, I stalked off to the bar. I didn’t need him anyway, and I wouldn’t be alone for long in a place like this. If I lost Ben and the rest of the boys, then I’d just have to make some new friends.
* * *
Every night was a repeat.Concert. Bar. Oblivion. Repeat.
The hot summer nights faded into cool, crisp autumn ones. I partied through them all, barely even registering what city I was in, or what bar.
It must’ve been morning because Ben—who had become a complete party pooper—was shaking me out of my stupor. All I could manage was a groan.
“Gage, can you answer me please?”
“Get off me.” My head pounded, and when I tried to pry my eyes open the room tilted. Why was the bed so hard? “Five minutes.”
“No, Gage, I need you to open your eyesnow.”
His urgency reached me, and I opened my eyes a tiny bit but slammed them closed again. “It’s still dark.”
“You’re sleeping on the floor, man. I don’t want to be a dick about it, but if someone takes photos…”
I bolted upright and slammed my head against the wall. “A photographer? I’ll kick his head in.”
Ben sighed and shook his head.
I had no idea how I ended up laying on the floor. The last memory I had was walking into what was the after party and going to the bar. I’d never totally blacked out before. Thank God it was Ben who found me rather than someone who would plaster my indiscretions all over the media.
“Get me out of here,” I commanded, my throat scratchy, voice gruff. “I want to leave.”
I wanted to go home, yearned to be in bed in New Hope with Kelly stretched out beside me, but that wasn’t possible. The tour bus would have to do.
“Yeah, I’ve got a cab waiting.”
I allowed him to half lift me and help me stagger to the waiting car. Ben was the best, even though he’d chilled some recently. I vowed to have my party animal buddy back soon. I’d find a way to thank him for saving my ass at the next party.
A few days later, after the next show, even I knew that it had been one of my worst performances of all time. We’d still kicked ass, but I didn’t give it my all.
“That was great,” I lied. “Let’s head out, see what this city has to offer.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Andy rested his hand on my shoulder. “Remember, we’re trying to clean up our reputation just a little bit right now, so I think we should stay in…”
He didn’t expressly say the need to clean up was because of me, but it was. Ron had laid down the law the day Ben found me passed out at the after party. I was creating issues for our public image.
“Grow some balls, Andy. Ben and I are hitting the town, aren’t we?”
Ben gave me a sideways look, and my chest tightened. We’d become closer over the last few weeks, and I knew that his family life had been shit. Nothing like what I’d had with Mom. Both his parents had been drug users and abandoned him to foster care by the time he was six. Not many of our conversations were that deep, because Ben blocked shit out. Not that I could blame him for that, and I’d been taking lessons.
