Page 39 of Reckless
12
Kelly
“Are you humming?” Millie stopped in the doorway of the supply closet, where I’d propped open the door. “You sound very happy. Much too pleased for someone who’s restocking the supplies. What’s going on with you, missy?”
I chewed on my bottom lip to stop the words from spilling out. What Gage and I shared wasn’t anything I could share with other people, not when he was known across the world, and especially not when it wasn’t going to amount to anything. At the same time, I was dying to shout to the world about my earth-shattering experience, and I didn’t have anyone I could tell.
“Some…things have been happening.” I knew my eyes lit up, and probably my whole body. If Millie turned out the light and shut the door, the room would probably glow from my euphoria.
“Sounds juicy.” She wiggled her eyebrows at me. “Might it have anything to do with the reappearance of a certain rock star you tried to convince me you weren’t happy about seeing?”
Heat crept into my cheeks. It was too late to play it down now, not when I’d lit up like a hundred-watt bulb in the dark. I looked away and shrugged. “It might.”
She snorted. “I was talking to his mom, Ms. Strickland, and she was telling me all about how you two were love’s young dream.” She made an exaggerated kissy face. “Everyone thought you’d get married right out of high school and actually make it. She didn’t even think him getting signed to his first band would change things.”
The happiness melted off me, disappearing like fog burned to nothing under a hot sun.
I turned back to the supplies and mechanically removed bed pads from a box and stacked them on a wide shelf. “It was the accident that changed things.”
The joy I’d felt just a moment ago suddenly felt wrong. It was wrong, wasn’t it, to feel so happy that I could fly when my father and brother weren’t here anymore to enjoy even the simple moments?
“Oh, I know that, honey. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
I shook my head, trying to shake off the darkness of my thoughts. “You haven’t. It isn’t you. It’s just him being here, dragging things back up. I can’t help thinking about how things used to be.”
I leaned on the shelf, resting my weight against it. Being with Gage was incredible, but bittersweet too.
“Do you mind if I ask what’s happened?”
“We’ve been out a couple of times…”
“On dates?” Millie’s voice was soothing, not at all like the way most people would react to the news of a date with Gage Strickland. And I knew I could trust her to keep whatever I confided in her to herself.
“No dates exactly. Well, the second time was more like a date. Yes, a date.” I knew my face was heating up again and Millie had sharp eyes.
“Oh, my goodness. You’ve kissed…and more.”
I nodded, unable to keep the goofy smile off my face. “Yes, after we went to Independence Pubfor a few drinks.”
“And that’s all?”
The urge to spill, to share my first time experience with someone after having waited so long had me clamping my lips shut. I couldn’t do that to Gage.
Millie saw it written on my face anyway. “Oh my god, how was it?”
I released a breath that felt like I’d been holding for years. “He’s so different than I remember him. Good different. But also the same. It was…really amazing.”
“You’ve got stars in your eyes, girlfriend. I’ve never seen you this way.”
“If I’m honest, I’ve never felt this way about anyone. Before and now. There’s always been something different about Gage. I think that’s why no one else has gotten close.”
“Hmm.” Millie’s mouth turned down into an unexpected frown. “I see.”
“I thought you’d be happy for me.” I nudged her playfully with a bedpan. “You’re the one who’s always telling me to find someone, so I don’t end up left on the shelf.” I gestured to the shelf as I stacked bedpans. “Like these poor lonely piss pots, as my mom always called them.”
She wrinkled her nose, but a smile played on her lips. “I am happy for you. And you’re not a bedpan. You’re a beautiful, smart, independent woman.” I waited for the rest of what she had to say. “I’m more concerned about you getting hurt. You two obviously can’t be more because of his career. Your life is here, and he travels all around the world. Would you move to New York for him? Give up your job and go on tour with him?”
I tried to laugh off her comments. “Millie, we slept together once.” I sighed. Millie had a way of getting me to spill my soul without asking a direct question. “It isn’t like I’m planning to uproot my life to be with him.”
