Page 100 of The Holidays with Mr. Mitchell
I wokeup to the soft hum of wind outside the chalet windows and the faint smell of Jim’s usual Christmas cinnamon rolls and coffee drifting up from the kitchen. For a moment, it felt like Christmas morning. Everything was quiet, warm, and filled with the peacefulness Jim usually brought every morning, waking us all up with his delicious cooking.
Then, I picked up my phone, and peace officially died.
“Dear God,” I muttered to myself, squinting at the notifications lighting up my screen like a slot machine. The hashtags themselves were enough to cause a minor panic.
#TaxWriteOffChristmas
#SpiritNotSpreadsheet
#GrinchInGucci
#BillionaireSantaFail
#NorthPoleBougieAF
#BillionaireBastard
Oh, perfect. A full-blown PR snowstorm. Again. I felt bad for Jim this time, though, because that’s not what his party was about. Sure, it started off as some fun Mitchell family competition, and now it was the whole twisted mess of bullshit attacking my husband for going overboard for his Christmas party.
The first post I saw was a photo of Jim standing in front of his six-million-dollar Santa’s Village with that perfect CEO poker face. The Jim Mitchell expression that said,I built this, but I’m already mentally editing the budget for next year.
Then came the taglines:
@OfficeTeaDaily:When your boss says,
‘It’s about the joy,’but the receipts say,
‘It’s about the depreciation schedule.’
#SpiritNotSpreadsheet #TaxWriteOffChristmas.
#BillionaireBastard
I groaned, dragging a hand over my face. “Oh, Jim,” I said softly.
The man pulled off a magical, breathtaking party last night. Was it over the top? Yes, but even I hadn’t expected how much he’d poured into it. A literal winter village carved out of the mountains. Real sleighs. A lightshow. A toy workshop that made Disney look like it was on a budget.
It had been stunning. But more than that, it trulywasheartfelt. Jim and our girls created this, and sure, spending millions for a man like my husband was like spending a couple of hundred bucks for the average person, but that’s just how Jim’s life was in the business world and the mindset he lived in.
And somehow the internet turned it into a fiscal crime scene.
I scrolled to the next post:
@TheLuxuryLeak:Rumor is the horse-drawn sleighs
alone cost half a mil?—
But hey, at least Santa gets to write it off.
#TaxWriteOffChristmas #GrinchInGucci
#CompanyPartyScam
I covered my laugh, “Oh my God. They think he did it for a tax deduction.”
From the doorway, I heard Izzy’s little voice call, “Mom, Dad says breakfast’s ready!”
“Be right down!” I called, tossing the phone on the bed and exhaling. “God help us all.”
