Page 19 of Falling for Him
“Why does it have to be only for sex?” Sutton pushes her and we all remain quiet as she does.
“Not everyone is looking for forever, I barely have time for now. However,” that’s when I see it. Kendall has taken this as her opportunity to shift the attention onto me. “I did see a little magic happening at Sutton’s opening last night. The heat that was building between Lex and Bennett was distracting.”
“We were talking,” I insist, instinctively looking over toward the house across the lake.
“Yes, it looked like you two were trapped in a pretty deep conversation.” Kendall nods. “Lips, tongue, hands, it was all involved in that deep conversation.”
“Anyone ever tell you that you’re an asshole?” I say and she shrugs like that is something she is told at least once a day. “I’ll have you know there was only a slight slip of a tongue. It was so fast, it almost doesn’t count.”
Everyone falls silent and I know without a doubt in my mind they are all waiting for more.
“He was very sweet. Said all the things I’ve waited for what feels like forever to hear. It’s no secret I’ve always had a thing for Bennett. Last night he made me feel so many different things all at once and I want to believe it all. But,” I pause, knowing that I’m probably going to have all five of them coming at me all at once.
“What?” Sutton says, sliding forward in her chair. All eyes are on me.
“I’m afraid to fall again,” I confess. “I’m afraid to let him in, I’m afraid to love him, afraid to let him love me, I’m afraid of it all.” Tears fill my eyes, but I look around at each of them, seeing the concern and acceptance. “I’ve felt so off-kilter for months, even before Derrick and what happened. I’ve felt like I give so much and in the end I always come up short. I’m terrified to let go of those fears, because honestly I’m not sure I’ll recover if I have another setback. And that, it’s what terrifies me most.”
“None of us can tell you not to be scared,” Sophie speaks up practically crawling across the deck to pause before me, taking my hand in hers. “I’m generally the quiet one sitting back, taking it all in. I observe, analyze, sometimes judge, but never do I pretend to know the right answer. No one, and I do mean no one, knows how you feel. You have every right to be fearful. But if I’m being honest, I think we all know that Bennett doesn’t have the capability to hurt any one of us intentionally. He was raised by two amazing people, he’s a fool, we know that, his judgment isn’t always the best. His emotions can be all over the place, but he’s Bennett. He’s a clown, a big brother to most of us, helping us smile when we need it most. But with you Lex, we all know you have a special place, you always have. He’s been careful with you from the start. Always watching you out of the corner of his eye, ensuring his Lexi is safe. When all that happened and he knew he wasn't able to do to protect you, it broke him.”
“But it wasn’t?—”
“His fault, we know,” she finishes for me. “But it broke him all the same. It also changed him. He’s more aware of everything, more grown-up.”
I smile when she does. He’s always been a big kid.
“He loves you,” she adds.
“And he loves you, he loves all of us.” I do what I always do. I try to make light of his feelings.
“Fine, he loves us all,” she agrees. “But he is in love with you.”
I take in a deep breath, the ache in my chest growing a little deeper.
“He added a library to the building plans,” Sutton adds out of nowhere and I shift my attention to her. “Told his uncle that he needed to adjust the plans, called him up late last night. Said he needed him to add in a library upstairs with large windows to overlook the land and there had to be a large window seat, one that he can add big fluffy cushions to. He wanted recessed lighting, not huge, but a cozy space to hide away and read.”
I continue to stare at her.
“We all know that Bennett has probably never set foot in a library and doesn’t even waste time reading instructions.”
Silence falls over the entire group, all of them smiling at me, some with tears remaining in their eyes from the earlier confessions.
“He told Brantley last week that he gets it now.”
“Gets what?”
“Envisioning a family, a wife, and perfect nights whenever he looks at his house being built. Brantley used to tell him that he could see me and our kids running around playing when he was building this house. Bennett, he teased him but now, he gets it, he sees it.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because I want you to know his intentions are pure. I’m not saying don’t be scared, hell Lex we are all scared, I am terrified most days. But I don’t want you to let that fear keep you from being loved.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Bennett
“Momma O’Shay,”Rory hollers out and drops the hammer, hurrying toward my father’s truck as my mom starts to climb out with her arms full.
“Thought I’d bring lunch to all my boys,” she says, passing things off to Rory and Mitchell, then Aaron and Finn all in line to help.
