Page 94 of Attempted Compromises
Elizabeth dropped her gaze to her lap, her hands twisting more tightly together. How could she begin to explain the tumult of emotions roiling within her? Yet her aunt’s quiet patience in the heavy silence drew the words from Elizabeth’s lips, each one heavy with unspoken fear.
“I…” She swallowed hard, her voice trembling. “I think I love him.”
The words hung in the air, the weight of them pressing down on her. Now that it had been spoken aloud, her admission filled the room like a tangible presence. Mrs. Gardiner’s browslifted slightly, but she remained silent, waiting for Elizabeth to continue.
“He is so… good, Aunt. So gentle. He treats me with such respect and kindness, far more than I could have ever expected. But…” She trailed off, her throat tightening as tears pricked at her eyes.
“But you are unsure of his feelings?” her aunt prompted softly.
Elizabeth nodded, her voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know if he loves me, or if he simply sees me as his responsibility. He is a man of honor, Aunt. He would never neglect his duty, and he would always be kind. But… kindness is not love. And I cannot bear the thought of loving him if his heart remains untouched.”
The weight of her own words pressed down on her, and she looked away, ashamed of her vulnerability. Mrs. Gardiner’s expression softened, and she reached out to place a comforting hand over Elizabeth’s. “Oh, my dear Lizzy,” she said gently. “Love often begins in kindness. It is not always spoke aloud— especially by men— but is oftentimes shown in actions, in the quiet moments that pass between two people.”
“But—”
“Do you share a bed?”
Elizabeth’s jaw dropped, and she stared at her aunt, her cheeks flaming a deep crimson. “Aunt Gardiner!” she hissed, her voice a mix of shock and embarrassment.
Mrs. Gardiner merely smiled, her expression knowing but kind. “It’s a fair question, Lizzy. You are a married woman now, afterall. And a husband’s actions in private can often speak volumes about his feelings.”
Elizabeth’s gaze darted to her hands, which were twisting the fabric of her gown nervously. “Yes,” she admitted quietly. “We share a bed. All night.”
“And?” Mrs. Gardiner pressed gently, her tone free of judgment, only curiosity and concern.
“And…” Elizabeth hesitated, her voice trembling as she continued. “He is tender, gentle. He ensures my comfort in every way, never demanding anything of me that I am not ready to give. But is that love, Aunt? Or is it just his duty as my husband? How can I tell the difference?”
Mrs. Gardiner regarded her niece with thoughtful eyes, her hand still resting over Elizabeth’s. “Lizzy, you say he is tender, that he is careful with your heart. Do you think a man would take such care if he did not hold some affection for the woman in his arms?”
Elizabeth swallowed hard, her emotions swirling. “I don’t know,” she said honestly. “He treats me with such kindness, but he treats Georgiana the same. And Andrew. And even Jane and Mr. Bingley. He is a man of great generosity and goodness, Aunt. How do I know that what he feels for me is different?”
Mrs. Gardiner’s lips curved into a faint smile. “Ah, my dear, but have you not considered that what makes a man a good father, a good brother, and a good friend could also make him a good husband? Love is not always fiery declarations or grand gestures. Sometimes, it is quiet, steady, and unwavering.”
Elizabeth’s heart clenched at the truth in her aunt’s words. She thought of the way Darcy looked at her, the way he sought her opinion, the way he seemed to light up when Andrew laughed at her teasing. She thought of how he had held her so gently, how he had stayed with her through the night instead of retreating to his own chamber.
“Besides, I have seen the way Mr. Darcy looks at you, my dear. He definitely does not think of you like a sister or a child.”
“I am so afraid, Aunt.”
Mrs. Gardiner’s smile softened, and she squeezed Elizabeth’s hands gently. “Lizzy, love is always a risk. But from what you have described, I do not believe you are a duty to him. A man who thinks of his wife as merely a responsibility does not linger in her company, seek her opinions, or hold her at night as you say he does.”
Elizabeth’s eyes filled with tears, and she blinked them away quickly. “But what if you’re wrong?” she asked, her voice cracking with the weight of her fear. “What if I’m wrong?”
“Then you will face it with the courage I know you possess,” Mrs. Gardiner said firmly. “You have always been brave, Lizzy, even when the odds seemed insurmountable. And I believe Mr. Darcy sees that in you. I believe he admires it, and that admiration may already have grown into something deeper.”
Elizabeth nodded slowly, though her chest remained tight. “I will try,” she said at last, her voice steadier. “I will try to have faith.”
Mrs. Gardiner’s smile widened, and she leaned forward to kiss Elizabeth’s cheek. “That’s my brave girl. Love is not always easy, Lizzy— in fact, it is rarely simple— but I have a feeling that you and Mr. Darcy will find your way. I know you; you would not give your heart to a man unworthy of it. Trust in the man you chose to marry, and trust in yourself.”
As Elizabeth looked toward Darcy, still deep in conversation with Mr. Gardiner, her heart swelled with a mix of hope and trepidation. She prayed her aunt was right, that love could grow from the quiet, steady care Darcy had shown her. And perhaps, in time, she would find the courage to ask him directly, to lay her heart bare and discover the truth of his.
But for now, she would cherish the moments they shared and hold onto the hope that his kindness might be more than duty. That it might be love.
Mrs. Gardiner gave Elizabeth’s hand one final squeeze before releasing it. “Whatever happens, my dear, you are not alone. You have family who loves you, and that will always remain true.”
Elizabeth nodded again, her heart heavy with gratitude for her aunt’s support, even as her thoughts remained fixed on the man who occupied her heart and mind so completely.
Chapter 27
